FREEDOM From All The LIARS And BETRAYERS In My LIFE=My Dream World

It's been a while.

2010-11-23T19:51:00.000+08:00

Yes. I'm finally back, after an unannounced self-declared hiatus. (well it's more of I lost interest in blogging somehow :X)

So my life...how was it?
Well, it's pretty much mug mug mug tests tests tests mock exams mock exams mock exams PRELIMS revision packs and of course, worrying about A Levels.
With some fun in between, like class photo taking, national day celebration (with parade), teachers' day and of course, Graduation day, perhaps school life only became slightly better in those last few months and 100 days before As, and made me a little sad that my jc life's going to end.

Nope, I daringly say, I won't miss 09s12 in general (except felicia, jia ying, belle joy, fransiska, esther, ria) & EDS. It's those who has, perhaps, made an impact in my 2 years in pjc, and made me smile even in these two harsh years (to me). In no particular order...my banded chinese class clique: hengli, bertram, bryan, leonard, zhile; my 09s29 clique: hengli, sangeeta, bertram; 09s09: seah wenyi, beatrice, daphne. 09s04: thitipat; the flag raising team: olivia<3, kuanyuan, gary, thitipat, syahirah, corrine; hanging out with 09s22 girls.

I hate to say this, but finally, I'm going to release myself from this blog which has companied me since secondary 2. It's been a journey of laughter, tears, new discoveries and experiences, but perhaps there's too much tears in this blog for the past 2 years. And I do want to leave everything of my jc life behind, start a new chapter. Yep, my sec school life was so much better, and that's why the memories will stay. But my jc life....

So when I'll be back here? Occasionally I guess? I won't fully abandon here; it's my very first online diary afterall. But yeah, it's really time to turn the page, into life after As and beyond.

the-sweetesthoughts.bs, this is goodbye. Because my thoughts can no longer be sweet at all; there's too much reality and practicality now.

I'm shifting to tumblr, just so you know.

When making room for more memory space in my hp...

2010-06-15T22:52:00.001+08:00

...It was like going back in time.

Certain memories were revived.
The simplicity of my life was revealed.
The number of people I truly miss amassed.
The growth process of my hair seen.

The tears just fell.

I miss my secondary school life and my early days as a VI, when life was so much easier to deal with.

I miss 2008 tremendously.

2010-06-14T16:00:00.002+08:00

Deactivated fb account. How more :( can I get.
But it's the only way to prevent myself from turning on the comp so much.

2nd week flying by...

2010-06-10T21:31:00.000+08:00

A little more productive this week. & some funny joke cropped up during tuition. Looks like tuition is going to be more "fun" from tomorrow onwards.

I wonder if I'm ready.

Blogshop!

2010-06-07T15:04:00.001+08:00

http://karista-paradise.blogspot.com/

I need to buy that hoodie!! :D

I'm Hungry! But they are starving!

2010-06-06T16:19:00.000+08:00

A fun, inspiring and exciting 30+++ hours of going high on sugar rushes with my 12 group mates (who all happen to be smart people as well :x). The girls are such awesome people.
But, the way the camp is run, the organisers and the general helpers are such letdowns.

Will elaborate more next time. I need to pack my room.

30 hour Famine camp 2010.

2010-06-04T07:24:00.000+08:00

Leaving for it in 10 minutes.
Gosh why am I nervous? Maybe it's because I will be ALONE. Like I only know one person who is going, and he is like in a different group and family from me :(
Let's see how it goes. Perhaps I will come out stronger than I think :)

I'm missing RCY, 10/09 and Ops team 5 for...

2010-06-03T12:29:00.000+08:00

CC sir being sacarstic to me,
HZ sir teasing me,
Hadi sir to have fun with (LOL),
Yingqi Ma'am to talk with (a lot),
Esther Ma'am to laugh with/at (and a lot of her little things that is funny! :D,
Zhiqian to talk (well a lot of things la, especially to do with FHRCY) with,
Calvin punching/knocking etc me (usually on the head)
George to talk/quarrel/discuss economics with me,
Siokhui for being les with me :D,
Daniela to go mad with,
Subha to do the stuff that we have in common (& complain about JC life of course :D),
Fadhilah to discuss life as a VI (HEHE),
Jia Xian to pour all my nonsense onto...

HAHA I'm not going to name all, since there's too many people to mention. But all of you have made such significant impacts in my RCY & VI life :)
The littlest & smallest things do matter very much to me.
Till the end of As, I'm really going to miss everyone & my source of destress.

An accomplishment.

2010-05-30T22:31:00.000+08:00

Well well, I finally finished ALL my filing for every single subject from J1 to J2.
For once, I'm extremely pleased and proud of myself.
Now, I found the motivation to start studying hooray!

Time for some serious work to get done.

Conflicting thoughts.

2010-05-29T21:39:00.000+08:00

Yes, I feel like a failure.
No, I'm better than I think.

Suddenly, I find my recent posts don't make much sense anymore.
Well, isn't my blog a mirror image of me?

I'm the perfect failure.

2010-05-27T15:07:00.001+08:00

I really studied this time, and this is what I get.
I tried my hardest to use the technique, and this is what I get.

I feel so lost.

Damn.

I just need to cry now, before I plaster up a smile for Drama farewell BBQ later (actually I'm late already XD).

& then cry some more later.

Gosh, maybe I should just drop out of school now.

[edit]
There, I'm officially out of EDS, for good.
BBQ was awesome, & I got a chance to display my "paparazzi" skills! :D
The feeling when I handed over the key to the J1s was a sort of liberation.
& now it's just me and studies, a 5 month dating session (ewwwww).
But when I think about GP today, I really wonder how do I move on at all....

June;

2010-05-25T18:57:00.000+08:00

No more RCY.
Some more tuition.
Late nights.
Coffee.
Macdonalds/Library.
Papers, books and whatever nonsense related to mugging.

HOW HOW HOW? HOW MUCH AMOUNT OF PUSHING DO I HAVE TO DO TO DO WELL?

Just a pain in the neck, screwing up a little of my so-far peaceful days.

2010-05-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

It has been rather peaceful I guess?
Study period during CT period plus no drama were bonuses for the day.

Although there's this certain girl who is irritating me off like totally.
Come on. Be more responsible for what you miss. Like make an effort to ask me what have you missed for the lessons. How do you expect me to remember EVERYTHING? Who do you think I am, your personal diary?

The reason for me being so angry today.

2010-05-17T22:23:00.001+08:00

A school event is only beneficial if the whole student body can bond together as one united family. If one is forced to go for a particular event, do you think the person can enjoy the event, no matter how fun it is?

This Saturday; it's a celebration of the school's past achievements, both students and teachers alike. No doubt, I'm happy & proud of the school's successes. But do I have to be there in person to show my pride for the school? I don't think so. Seating through 2 hours of clapping for people whom I don't even recognise by face, people receiving awards on behalf of their CCA, people getting academic awards & external individual achievements...is so not worthy of my time at all.

For those receiving academic awards or individual awards for winning competitions, I sincerely congratulate you. But why do I care what achievements the respective CCAs has made? If teachers are being promoted on that day as well, all the more the reason I shouldn't be going; it does not concern me in the SLIGHTEST bit if they are promoted.

not like there will be improvements from them anyway.

So basically, the majority of this event is a total waste of my time. It's not that I like kicking up a big fuss over the issue of being forced to go, but seriously, what's new? I don't benefit from knowing which CCAs had improved, which teacher has been promoted, and clapping STUPIDLY for unfamiliar faces.

What kind of "Freedom Of Choice" is this?

Gaaaaaa~

2010-05-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

2 more tiring weeks of school.
1 or 2 more sessions till I'm over and done with EDS forever.

The end of term 2; the end of everything EXCEPT studies.

6 notes.

2010-05-12T22:18:00.001+08:00

"I wasn't sure what I was doing, to tell someone in his clique, about all his bad traits. I know that the someone won't tell him about what I said, but am I putting myself in a bad light instead?"

"To forgive and forget is no simple process."

"To see his back view, pains me."

"Today, so many revelations, so many truths unraveled. I feel so lost, because so many thoughts are running through my head."

"How do I feel at peace with myself, when I can't remove that permanent dislike for him? I'm only at the losing end."

"我真的很想哭。。。可是，又没有泪水，怎么哭出全部的痛苦，烦恼，伤心呢？我好累。。。"

Out of 6, 4 is about him.
Please, just kill me. I shouldn't be thinking about this whenever I'm mugging.

The economics tutorial today just tells me that...

2010-05-10T19:00:00.002+08:00

Some guys just suck to the core.

Well, maybe the ones in my class.

Thank goodness I know boys which are so much better, even the ex-SJI one.

May's going to be good :D

2010-05-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

I have never been better.
So much has happened.

But there's no need to rake up the past, not when April has been the worse month so far. Not going to elaborate any furthur; it's a month which I prefer not to reminisce at all.

So well, may I say that SYF finished 2 days ago, & I'm finally free to start mugging! OH MY I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS DAY TO FOCUS FULLY ON MY STUDIES, AND HANG OUT WITH HENGLI, SANGEETA & BERTRAM AFTER SCHOOL.

I have a simple aim for MYE, & that is to be on par or beat that ex-SJI boy. I need to do myself some justice, give myself confidence for prelims, & not end up in the wrong banding groups in Term 3.

GOGOGO :)

Leaving.

2010-04-04T17:02:00.000+08:00

Define blog.

"Online diary".

Define online diary.

"....."

You see?

You can't be private online.

I'm attracted to the convenience of not having to write a diary, but to compromise my level of privacy?

Due to CERTAIN people who read & find it disturbing, I really find it hard to even say anything that I want anymore.
You have forced me to turn to another avenue to rant. Perhaps this will stop you from being so OVERBEARING.

I'm left with no choice, but to abandon this once-loved place which has landed me into so much trouble in recent years. It is the only way to stop you from INTERFERING into my PRIVATE & PERSONAL affairs!

I will come back someday in the future, when those people stop tracking me behind my back, & when my own blog is not used to blackmail me.

Feeling guilty already? You know what to do.

Good riddance & goodbye.

You're mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I'll tell you a secret; all the best people are.

2010-03-27T21:53:00.002+08:00

Alice: This is impossible.
Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is.

Alice: "I'll decide where it goes from here."

Alice: "Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!"

It's such a touching show. I love how the Mad Hatter and Alice have such a close relationship.
Finding out one's strengths must be done through getting lost, handling one hardship one at a time.

I will do it this time. Because I must.

YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW.

Because of you...

2010-03-26T12:11:00.000+08:00

I have learnt what is real heartache.
I have learnt what it is like to be thinking so much about someone.
I have learnt what real tears are.
I have learnt that a girl DOESN'T ALWAYS NEED A BOY.

You know what?

Since you decided to cut off ALL ties with me, after you decided to FOCUS on the very last point of this infamous blogpost dedicated to you:

http://prickmewithaneedle.blogspot.com/2010/03/specially-for-you.html

Without reading what she really meant, without feeling any inch of remorse, without trying to change...
Then why can't I play the same game?

You are not solving the situation at hand. Rather, you are just running away from the problem. Both of us have some fault in this, but you broke the rules more than I did. I was ready to forgive and forget, you still harp on it.

So? Now you want to cut off all communication. I do admit, I'm still hurt, because I WANTED A DAMN GOOD REASON FROM YOU, NOT SUCH NONSENSICAL ONES.
If you think this will help, well it will just help me FORGET YOU, but it will not solve the underlying problem. Get it?

I'm tired of trying so hard to fix back this friendship. If it is supposed to end so bitterly, so be it.

I don't want to be your enemy. But now, I have to hate you for all you have done.

Hengli told me it will take some time. I'm not sure how long.

Perhaps, time will dissolve the mess, the hurt, the hatred.

But for now, maybe not.

& my final answer to those who asked: Do you still like him?

No.

A sms...

2010-03-25T17:37:00.001+08:00

...that did so much harm.

The first video was found in my private blog archives. & I went on to find the other two.
Yes, I really feel like this.

Someone told me this just now:

One of you went too fast.

The problem is, who?

I just want to ask you now: WHY?

I wasn't expecting a happy ending to this story, but not such a bitter one.

After wearing that expressionless mask...

2010-03-24T19:15:00.002+08:00

Being quiet seems like a good idea.

Totally...

2010-03-21T16:36:00.003+08:00

...a goner for common tests.

Perhaps I may have to drop back to J1.

Who knows...

2010-03-07T17:20:00.001+08:00

我的天空今天有点灰

我的心是个落叶的季节

我不知道如何度过今夜

所有的灯早已经全都熄灭

Fear turning into tears of joy.

2010-03-06T15:57:00.001+08:00

I don't deny...

I was trembling like crazy inside.
I was freaking out like mad about everyone and my chinese results.
I was super super super worried for my Chinese class, especially Heng Li, Bertram and Bryan.

So when Mr Suresh said the whole 09s12 passed Chinese, I was really pleased, because I knew I had secured at least an E.
But when I got my results slip from him...

I SCREAMED, JUMPED, CRIED A RIVER, & PUNCH THE TABLE.

I SWEAR, I NEVER EXPECTED MY CHINESE RESULTS TO BE SO GOOD, BECAUSE I KNEW I WROTE OUT OF POINT FOR MY COMPOSITION.

I think the class thinks I'm mad, but WHO CARES! Getting a freaking hell excellent C to me is so much more than I expected.

MY "SUDDEN DESIRE TO WORK HARD FOR CHINESE" ATTITUDE AT THE START OF 2009 HAS PAID OFF. I HAVE HIT MY TARGET.

& now I'm trying to persuade my mum to let me frame it; to motivate myself to do the same for As.

Speaking of the A levels,

I'm scared. The results in school are not as good this year. & I'm freaking out. I don't want to cry with sorrow next year. I want to replay the same scene when I got my chinese results when I get my A level results next year.

& what she said today, made me even more stressed than before. I teared, not because of what she said about me (which is quite true, so it's alright), it was what she said that made me think about my class, & how they are really starting to mug.

Seriously, no more playing the fool. I'm really going to stick to my plan of turning on the computer ONLY during the weekends.

2010-02-27T18:43:00.002+08:00

Perhaps, there will come a day when the mountain pile of homework & revisions to do will topple & collapse on me, & I can leave this horrible world for another world out there, to re-learn the meaning of life.

Wondering...

2010-02-25T20:18:00.001+08:00

Why is it so much easier to talk to someone online whom you feel awkward talking to in reality?

Someone seem to have disappeared from my life silently. I wish he will give me a reason what is his intention to slip away just like that.

Some boys really suck to the max.

Really tired of everything.

http://colorgenicstest.com/

2010-02-23T22:40:00.001+08:00

Something which I saw from Eugene's and Subha's blogs. Decided to try it.

You are feeling exhausted, worn out, drained. You feel that far too much is being asked of you but you still want to overcome these difficulties and establish yourself despite the effect such an effort seems to have on you. You are a proud person, assertive most of the time, but at this particular moment you are acting as if you have become resigned to the situation. What you need is some tender loving care - a gentle pat on the head (or maybe a 'kick-up-the backside') and then you'll be raring to go.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

In spite of all the opposition, you are insisting that your goals are realistic but circumstances are forcing you to compromise. You are not very happy with this situation but there is little that you can do about it. You have very strict standards which you try to apply to everyone who enters your sphere of influence.

You are on tenterhooks and appear to be extremely nervous and upset. You are bored and you feel that life has far more to offer than this present day mundane existence. The way that you feel indicates that you have the need for a responsive and understanding relationship. You are prepared to follow up any opportunity which may present itself. However you are very choosy and you refuse to be swept off your feet unless integrity can proved to be 100% genuine. Therefore you are holding back, keeping your emotions in check because before you let down your guard you have to be sure. You are too trusting and you have no desire to be hurt again. You are responsive to conditions around you - but forever under control.

You are afraid that you may not be able to realise or achieve your hopes and desires and so you insist that people should accept you as you are and appreciate your rights to anything that you aspire to.

I got to admit, it's quite true.

Life sucks.

2010-02-22T22:23:00.002+08:00

An open book test tomorrow, yet I still have to mug for it?

Fuck, I still need to finish up my Chem remedial ws.

This week's gonna suck like any other week in this bitchy jc2 life.

2010-02-19T23:39:00.005+08:00

我关上了门最后一次听你说我们

熟悉变陌生把我往记忆里扔

我应该习惯你离去的眼神

才能让失去你变得更完整

窗外的街灯还在努力掩饰著早晨

我的叹息成全了整夜的苦闷

我该努力习惯这样的气氛

才发现失去了爱不用再等

我知道我的一切你已不想

要继续在乎只会让你想逃

我不相信这全是种煎熬

原来离去是那麼难预料

早已看穿没有我想要的好

我的等待换不到你拥抱

只好让回忆短暂的炫耀

原来任性对彼此都不好

清晨的街灯唤开了城市中的心门

我的等待成全了整夜的苦闷

RUN AWAY 在你的回忆里

狂奔才了解失去了爱不用再等

我知道我的一切你已不想

要继续在乎只会让你想逃

我不相信这全是种煎熬

原来爱你是那麼难预料

早已看穿没有我想要的好

我的等待换不到你拥抱

只好让回忆短暂的炫耀

原来任性对彼此都不好

多想再一次紧紧的拥

抱就算给我一秒也好

一秒可以给多少我都想要

我知道我的一切你已不想

要继续在乎只会让你想逃

我不相信这全是种煎熬

原来爱你是那麼难预料

早已看穿没有我想要的好

我的等待换不到你拥抱

只好让回忆短暂的炫耀

原来任性对彼此都不好

让回忆继续反覆炫耀

原来失去对彼此都不好

Falling tears; it just reminds me so much of you.

2010-02-18T19:46:00.000+08:00

Sleeping at an unearthly hour of 4am is not good at all. I will never ever sleep at such late hours again.

Today was pretty much okay I guess. My Chemistry marks were terrible. I do not want to fail at As.

Time to buck up Jeslynn, Jiayou! :)

Gna lift my head high and charge...or not.

2010-02-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

School again.
School sucks.
Homework undone.
So how?
Sad :(

Chinese New Year!

2010-02-14T22:16:00.000+08:00

Ka-Ching!

3rd day of freedom is ending already. It's time to start finishing up my homework. But there's so many good movies tomorrow, & house-visiting in the daytime & steamboat at night on day 5 of freedom! Haish. But homework needs to be handed up, and I cannot afford to fail the second upcoming economics test, Maths Vectors quiz and Geography test next week; I'm kinda sick of seeing single digits on my papers already.

SO. I managed to earn $50 today, & it's not from my hongbao; it's from winning a bet!
So, my cousin, who is married and has a young daughter (about 2 years old I think), made a bet with the few relatives present at my grandma's house, that whoever can carry her, gets $50! The only problem is that she's very shy, and doesn't allow anyone to carry her. Considering that at the family gathering last Sunday, no one could carry her, so I took up the challenge.
Sure, it was hard in the beginning, but after I fed her a small piece of Ba Kwa, she became a little more comfortable with me :D (Because she took 2 more pieces from me when I offered to her). However I still couldn't "get" her permission to carry her.
Then, she tottered to the living room to see the TV. It gave me an idea to carry her from behind, while she was distracted. & she didn't even squirm! AND THAT'S HOW I GOT MY 50 BUCKS! :D

Hokkaido at Turf City & Pool at Signature Park;

2010-02-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

Good food right! Yums!

Relatively happy day today.

What a lonely CNY 2010 this is going to be.

Moodless;

2010-02-10T10:55:00.006+08:00

Screwed all my H2 & H1 departmental tests.

Fatigue;

[edit] at 11 plus pm.

Bertram Brandon Ong Yong Zheng.

I don't really care now if your full name is here in such a big size.
But I'm really pissed.
Shouldn't you be taking more responsibility for what you have done & caused?
You dragged Heng Li into the picture, & you didn't tell her why you did it.
& here you are saying "haha" & "I owe you one", with no single drop of remorse, when you made use of her (or so Heng Li & I speculated).
Do you even understand the magnitude of your mistake & how much harm it has caused to the relationship between you & your dad, your friendship with Heng Li, & her relationship with her mum?
The word "Sorry" is not even enough now.
I don't want this to break our (& that includes Bryan) friendship, we been through so much in J1. But I really hope you will reflect, since you find me sticking up for Heng Li & me trying to help you as "IRRITATING" to you.

& that brings me to another point. Now I wonder what good does it do to me when I help people to the best of my ability, when all I get is the word "irritating". Like, I really want to help you to gain confidence, be happier, learn from your mistake etc. Yet you don't appreciate it. What's the point? The phrase "To each his own" is gaining much more relevance in this society.
[/edit]

I'm gonna find a way to make it without you tonight;

2010-02-06T20:24:00.000+08:00

Tuitioned today.
Wan Zheng, Seah wenyi, Jackie & me decided to go to KFc at Taman Jurong for study session.
I saw a Sheng Shiong truck, & sang the aadvertisement.
Wz heard it, & dared me to say it to the cashier when we go SS later.
Went to SS to shop and buy mandarin oranges for tuition teacher.
SWY videoed the whole thing, I carried out the dare, wz paid for my "3 for $1" oranges.

& I DID ALL THIS WHILE WEARING MY RCYC'09 INSTRUCTORS TEE.

AWESOMEZ RIGHT?

This is what RCYC'09DELTA does to you -.-

But thanks for making me smile & laugh so much today. I haven't seen a U-shaped lips in a while.

I LOVE MY TUITION MATES :D

2 impactful sentences;

2010-02-05T23:39:00.000+08:00

Friends are the best thing that can ever happen.
Relationships can wait.

I was a fool;

2010-02-03T20:43:00.002+08:00

& always will be.

Dang.

Screwed up.

2010-01-30T15:10:00.000+08:00

What's real & what's not?

Damn, how much more must I take it? Be professional it & shrug, smile it off?

Titleless;

2010-01-29T22:38:00.000+08:00

Because happy days never last.

NOW WHAT, I CANNOT EVEN USE THE COMPUTER TO PLAY ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?!
I USE THE COMPUTER FOR RESEARCH FOR WEEKDAYS, & I CAN'T USE THE COMPUTER FOR RECREATIONAL PURPOSES ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?

RIGHT, MAKE MY JC2 LIFE A LIVING HELL, YOU DID AN AWESOME JOB OF IT.

THANKS FOR MAKING ME ANGRY; BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I'LL BE IN ANY GOOD MOOD THIS WEEKEND, WITHT THAT MOUNTAIN PILE OF HOMEWORK TOO.

I'm sorry, but I really have to say this word: FUCK.

Finally, a HAPPY POST on the first day of week 3 term 1 in PJC!

2010-01-25T18:39:00.000+08:00

Today was surprisingly alright! :D I'm starting to rekindle my liking for economics again HOORAY! AWESOMEZ.

& I really like those 3 girls called Belle Joy, Esther & Fransiska! :)

HOTDOG DAY TOMORROW WHOOPS! *Even though there's Chemistry remedial & Maths remedial, so my school day ends at 6pm instead of 12.30pm tomorrow*

CHEM PRACTICAL IS SUCK.

YEAH I KNOW THIS IS A VERY RANDOM POST :D

Last night was

2010-01-23T22:22:00.000+08:00

a night of tears.

& now I can feel myself falling sick.

DAMN this is not the time to fall ill!

The best day in 2 weeks.

2010-01-22T14:41:00.000+08:00

It was AWESOMEZ seeing Ops team 5 yesterday! It's probably the only time I felt so high, & the first time in 2 weeks of first term that I felt so happy. But the "propose" joke has to "spoil" everything -.-

Anyway, Geography test is phailz, integration quiz is great, thanks to some last minute help from a special someone. :)

2nd week & still feeling tired. Economics essay test on Monday and D.E maths quiz on Thursday.

I need to change my body clock system drastically. Like making sure I can survive on 3 hours of sleep (12 midnight to 3.30am).

Smack myself into bits & pieces.

2010-01-20T20:29:00.000+08:00

I couldn't have been more tired this week. Plus seeing someone special every single day.
Whatever it is, those few sentences always never fail to make me smile when I think of them.

Procrastination

2010-01-18T19:08:00.000+08:00

is the worse thing ever. Never will I do it again, not after what happened today.
Thanks Felicia for saving my life muchs :D

NO MORE LEAVING MY HOMEWORK TO THE LAST MINUTE SHINGZ. I'M IN J2 ALREADY.

Hellish week;

2010-01-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

First week of school, & I'm already down with sleepiness & homework.
Screw this week!

How am I going to suffer 40-45 weeks of this, you tell me?

Tiring;

2010-01-13T09:25:00.000+08:00

Monday till now had not been awesome, other than the fact that I get to end school at 12.30pm (1.30pm once maths remedial starts) every Tuesday.
Haish, feeling extremely worried for Winanto & Ruiyang now. Really hope they can enter PJC.

School, bath, dinner, homework, sleep. (& drama after school on Wednesday & Friday)
What kind of shitty routine is this :(

A fufilling December Holiday (ignoring the homework)

2010-01-10T09:35:00.002+08:00

Well this (long) holiday is coming to an end, & I must say I enjoyed it more than I should.
Work shadowing programme, New Zealand, RCYC. 4e5 :D

& now it's time for school. Like tomorrow. Probably the next time I'll blog in school >.<

H1N1 vaccine, Robinsons, Grandma's house.

2010-01-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

Right. Saw wz & esther ma'am today. How wondeful & -.- respectively.
I was still a little shocked okay!

Talk about an ugly duckling turning into a swan.

Anyway timetables are up & I really really really hope mine is permanent! Because it's really awesome; earliest is Monday (1pm) and latest is Tuesday (4.30pm). It certainly looks MUCH better without CL & PW :)

An expensive mistake;

2010-01-06T23:36:00.001+08:00

Remember I said in my earlier posts that I broke my camera lens? Well now, I have to pay a FREAKING ~~122~~ 159 bucks for its repair!
Well, a lesson learnt! I MUST take better care of my camera, even though it's only 199 bucks!

YAY hopefully there's Delta dinner on 16/23 Jan! I can't wait to see Delta! :)

PJC Open House...

Better not type what I actually want to type about the above topic, just in case those undesirable people see this. Then I'm dead for J2, if you get my drift.

Ciaos~ hush hush.

Can't anything in my academic life go right?

2010-01-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

Screwed up Maths Re-exam today.
Now I really wonder how am I EVER going to get an A for A levels.

& i'm supposed to do Chemistry today. Did 2 questions before knocking out. Well I'll do again after 10pm.
Tomorrow, my own study session. Hmms. Anyone care to join me?

VI Retreat, planned by batchmates.

2010-01-03T22:08:00.001+08:00

2-3 January 2010: VI Retreat.

Reached campsite early from tuition & helped out a little before playing Captain's Ball for more than an hour with seniors & 11/10s. What joy to play Captain's Ball with nice people :)
After Captain's Ball, it was BBQ. It was quite fun (although smelling carbon was not supposed to be part of the package) setting up the pit. :D Started cooking food & fooling around, learning bits of Subha Basha, & doing loads of catching up with batchmates as well as the ex-fuhuanites. Got to know a couple of 11/10s as well :D
Played Murder Mystery! The plot was not too bad, although Milissa already guessed the murderer right from the start HAHAHA SMART GIRL. Awesome game it was; it got us into serious thoughts, especially Jamie, the future-CSI-to-be! XD
Then it was supper & OTOT. Chatted a while before bringing out my fresh pack of cards. Sat with Jing Kai, Jun Jie, Zhi Qian, George, Jia Ming and Yong Kuang (the only girl again!!!) to play a**hole dai di. Super fun; the guys are HILARIOUS! Plus the fact that I'm on a winning streak too :D
Hiked to Bedok Macs with Jia Xian, George, Jia Ming & Yong Kuang. Met up with Siokhui at Macs, Stoned there with double chocolate frappe before heading back to campsite. Slacked and gossiped in the canteen with Zaidi Sir, Hadi Sir, Khairul, Wei Ben, Subha & Daniela. Started playing Dai Di again, & I kept losing because of my sleepiness.
We stopped playing at around 5.40am & I took a bath. Did Functions of maths holiday revision package for half an hour before taking a power nap till 7.30am.
Chilled in the parade square and chatted/played dai di with george, siokhui, elijah and Jiaxian. Ate breakfast, & IT WAS YUMMY YUMMYLICIOUS! :D
Khairul and Zhiqian pulled me into their captain ball's team at the last minute because of some rules. & our captain's ball team won the competition just on time, because I had to go for tuition! :D
But oops! I nodded off a zillion times (well i only had one hour of sleep!). Thanks Jackie for nudging me XD

So yup, a super rushed post of VI Retreat :x Even though there are some minor complications here & there, but nevertheless, a good job well done to the organisers of VI Retreat! :) Can't wait for the next one already :)

A disastrous Alpha outing.

2010-01-01T18:56:00.002+08:00

Yup, the title says it all :(

I woke up late, along with Ying Yan and Jing Kai. In the end only I went to catch up with the rest.

Because I was so late, Alpha was reduced to cycling at Pasir Ris Park, instead of sitting the bumboat to Pulau Ubin.

Decided to take a picture of them cycling while going downhill, ended up overturning my bike, bleeding elbow, and broken camera lens T.T

We didn't really end the outing on a happy note. Lunched together with Subha & Hui Ying before heading for home.

How awful, if the first day of the new decade is like this, how many more bad days am I facing?

Haish. When organising, don't be late!

Thanks for the lesson learnt, Alpha. I won't disappoint you guys again for the next outing (which is most probably at the end of 2010). Perhaps, we are not fated to go to Pulau Ubin yet.

Just 2 words: I'm sorry.

2009; A year of many firsts.

2009-12-31T22:51:00.209+08:00

"Enjoy your youth while you can." (Quote from Zaidi Sir)

I think I did.

January

SRC Flag Day 2009; My first RCY event. It was fun much, helping out with giving out the cans in Commonwealth Sec, as well as the collection & transportation of the cans.

Receiving my O Level results. I don't deny that I'm both surprised & disappointed at the same time. But I should be satisfied with my grades; they gave me glimmers of hope, especially a certain subject called Maths :) Besides, I could enter Junior College, that's all that matters.

Of course, the most important event: 10/09's POP. First time in a VI uniform & heels & head full of pins. The proudest moment for each & every one of us. With awesome batchmates like JieQi, the 2 Sarahs, Eugene (I think that's it? Oops I can't remember the rest! Shucks!) leading the rest of us, becoming a VI officially was definitely bittersweet. A day never to be forgotten. VIP! TO LEAD WITH PRIDE! :)

February

First day in Pioneer Junior College, first day with 09S12, first day with EDS. It was a pretty much fun month I guess, when school wasn't about facing storms of homework pouring down each day.

March

Well, it was just another ordinary month I guess, other than the first birthday celebration in PJC with 09S12 :)

April

Another ordinary month, just EDS and more EDS I guess, because we were preparing for our first production for the J2s to see during their assembly.

May

First debut of EDS 2009-2010. :) It was fun I would say. A good experience for all of us at doing a performance.

& we meet again :D batchmates rules!

June

My first reunion with 4E5. The dinner was super CHEAPO but it was awesome catching up with 4e5 & of course msyeo :D

& of course, my first time watching a theatre performance with EDS.

OH YEAH. My first public FA duty for some charity show when Show Luo came :)

July

My very first NDP Preview! This is definitely one of my favourite events of the year! Watching with batchmates & screaming like crazy idiots when the Red Cross contingent appeared on the huge screen, it's most certainly more fun to watch the National Day Parade live, even though it's just a rehearsal. Many thanks Daniela! :D

My first picnic at ECP with tuition mates :D The cycling & the smashed cake plus the playing of cards was LOVES :D Thanks people for making it AWESOMEZ :DDD & WE GOT PROMOTED TOGETHER HOORAYS :D

August

What else can be memorable about August other than my first National Day Parade in PJC? Working with awesome schoolmates, all with one goal in mind: To practise our drills and parade procedure to PERFECTION. I think we did a great job (even with a little tempers thrown here & there? XD) even though it's a little screwed on the day itself, when suddenly white gloves need to be worn, everyone were late, & I got a little problem with hooking on the school flag to the flag pole because I never practised hooking on the flag with gloves. It was really fun wearing my VI uniform for the whole school to see :D (even though the low cut blouse started a little joke among the girls -.-). An experience never to be forgotten.

EDS first performance to the whole school on Teachers' Day celebrations. Watch out, we are going to get GOLD in SYF 2010!

4E5 dinner at night. First dinner at Pizza Hut with friends! :D 4E5 is LOVES LOVES LOVES! :D

September

MUG MUG MUG for promos.

Nothing new; September has always been a jinx month for me, ever since Secondary 2. & something bad happened once again. Haish.

October

BBQ at Jia Man's house with tuition mates (quite close to full attendance for the first time!)! AWESOMEZ MUCH. Food, drinks, games were :D

November

Let's be sadist here: my first experience of worrying whether I'll get promoted. Thankfully, I scraped through J1.

Oh yes. First time at FAC'09. No photos :( LOL but it was not too bad an event. It was fun being marshall with subhashini & looking after the 'casualties" :D

December

Work Shadowing Programme at World Scientific Publishing Pte Ltd. My first hand experience in the working world. Quite an eye-opener I must say.

First time OVERSEAS to my DREAM COUNTRY: NEW ZEALAND! (for a geography trip with PJC)

It's the best place in the world! Fresh air, beautiful scenaries, delicious food etc.

I wish I can go NZ again!

Naturally, RCYC'09DELTA has been such an LOUD, HIGH, CRAZY bunch of wonderful people during my first time participating in RCYC! The previous post says a lot, so nothing much here.

4E5 again! First time playing Pool with them, as well as eating at BBQ Chicken at West Coast Plaza. :D

First time eating at Seoul Garden, with RCYC'09DELTA PIs, POs & umpires! :D

Personal Reflection
Well, 2009 has more downs than up, but I'm sure glad I managed to pull through, even with a few mishaps here & there.
Even with facing new challenges, there's still people out there who cares & understands. For that, I'm really appreciative, because in this super competitive society, who really bothers to ask why you are down and out? Rather, they are probably happier that another competitor is out of the way.
I guess for 2009, I have changed. Whether for the better or for the worse, well that's a subjective matter isn't it? But, one thing I'm sure of is, I've become much more reserved this year. Perhaps, I'm just getting older, so getting high, loud, & noisy is kind of becoming not my style. But RCYC changed all that. I just need to open up more, learn to trust again, learn to believe again; for all that disappeared during the course of 2009.

2010; What's next?
The A Level year (that many has kindly reminded either my tuition mates or batchmates)! The one exam that can either make or break me.
Of course, I want to do well, don't I? I need some confidence!

New Year Resolutions. I'll just set short term ones yeah...
1) Do well for As to enter NTU (my choice of course will be settled later yeah?)
2) Go for ONE MORE RCY EVENT before study leave (april till early december) *which is most probably Arts Fest 2010? :)
3) Get promoted to CO in April! :D
4) SMILE:)
5) Open Up, be less sensitive.

Simple & attainable.

Go, go, fight, fight,
Gee, I hope I look all right,
Let's go, let's go, let's go, Jeslynn, go, YEAH! :D

Ending off with a song~

That's When I Love You by Aslyn
When you have to look away
When you dont have much to say
Thats when I love you
I love you, just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
Thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly
And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,
I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you, no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
Thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
Thats when I love you
I love you, more than youll know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you get when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
Thats when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
No matter what

2009-12-25T11:39:00.001+08:00

First things first: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Second thing: RCYC'09 (after reading from Qi Wen Sir's and Daniela's blogs)

Joining RCYC as a mentor was something I really wanted to do, right from the days when I was in VIP camp last year. Hearing so much of RCYC from my juniors about how fun it was, I told myself that I wanted to experience it for myself, despite the fact that I would be a mentor with more responsibilities to hold on to.
I was not disappointed. With a new format for RCYC implemented this year, it just made RCYC all the more exciting.
Meeting Delta was like meeting Sec 1 juniors; all seemed so shy during the first contact session. But by Day 4, all seemed as if they known each other for years :)
It's hard to express my pride for Delta's determination, energy & teamwork throughout the 4 days, especially D2. At some points in the RED Race, I was heartened by the way they pushed, egged and encourage each other on.
Like Day 3. Being at ECP before them, I wasn't sure if they had time to even come to ECP when the rain poured. Imagine my shock when I received the call of D2 wanting to brave the rain to go to ECP. I know I wouldn't have wanted to do that when I was a cadet, strong as I was during my cadet years. But these people proved me DAMN RIGHT wrong. Although the mood was rather down when we carried the trash bags for D1 and our share, still I'm proud of their peseverance to do as much as they can, for the whole Delta division.
Like Day 4. Reaching our last station with only an hour to go before 3pm (& we took almost an hour to travel to the last station), with D1 still doing the last station, D2 had to make a choice to either wait and risk being late, or just go back straight to campsite and be on time. They chose the latter, & even helped D1 with their bags.

Deltaians!<333333
What else can I say? It was awesome being with you guys in this camp! I'm happy that we got so bonded, especially after Day 2 :) No words can express my love for you guys, and all the crap we talked, laughed, shared; singing A to Z, You Are My Sunshine etc, shouting advertisements after advertisements, imitating Charlie's actions, suanning the other divisions every other day, replying "RELAX LA!", bombing the other divisions...

Delta POs & PIs!
I really really really enjoyed working with all of you! Thank you so much for the experiences & lessons taught. I'll do my best to improve furthur!
*& yeah, I miss the white stone table already o_o

RCYC'10, I'll be there next year!

2009-12-22T13:54:00.000+08:00

Pictures speak a thousand words.

18000 words is not enough to show how fun, amazing and exciting RCYC 2009 with Delta has been.

Go facebook and see for yourself yeah?

RCYC! READY, EXCITE, DISCOVER!

2009-12-16T10:15:00.000+08:00

Currently having stiff neck, thanks to sleeping on the plane from NZ without reclining my seat. So I missed the Monday outing at Sentosa with batchmates and a few seniors. :(
I hope my neck will be cured today; there's RCYC tomorrow, all the way till Sunday.

Giving up, and moving on.

2009-12-11T12:29:00.000+08:00

New Zealand was totally awesome :D
& now I miss NZ to the max.
Is it just me, or is it true that Singapore is really BLAZING HOT?

Pictures soon, as soon as i manage to sort out 2000+ pictures in my cam.

& now I realise the reason I didn't buy you anything from NZ in the first place, even though I'm seeing you around tomorrow.

2009-12-03T21:38:00.002+08:00

Flying off in 10 more hours!

RCYC is coming! :D

See everyone next week! :)

Subha, I Love You okays! :DDD

2009-11-30T18:48:00.001+08:00

Work Shadowing was pretty fun today. But it's also boring at the same time, because it was lecture after lecture. Brain-drained now. I practically blanked out during the intro of accounts. Can't wait for the next two days of attachment! :)

Self note: The people that I'm lending/lent stuff to...
MW: VI tee (get back from her on wednesday night)
Hot Mama: ULP tee (get back from her anytime after NZ trip)
HL: ULP book (tuesday, 6.30pm at JP to pass it to her, get back from her anytime after NZ trip)

LOL. If you noticed, they're all RCY stuff for UIP & VIP camps. Ahahahaha.

2009-11-29T21:35:00.000+08:00

Been busy this week.
Work shadowing from tomorrow onwards.
Flying off to NZ on Friday morning.
I'm not exactly excited.

Anyone know of any one-off CIP events?

2009-11-22T20:36:00.001+08:00

I got to work hard this holiday.

23-25 Nov: Standard First Aid Course
30Nov-2Dec: Work Shadowing at World Scientific Publishing Pte Ltd
4-11 Dec: Geography Trip to New Zealand
12Dec: RCYC Contact Session
17-20Dec: RCYC!!!! :D
25Dec: Christmas! :D
Week after christmas: VI Retreat
31Dec: New Year's Eve
1Jan2010: New Year's Day!
2Jan: ALPHA OUTING!
3Jan: OPS TEAM 5 & 4 OUTING!

*Italics being tentative

& I still have _______ & holiday assignments & revisions to settle!
NICE HOLIDAY I HAVE TO SLACK IN BEFORE THE A LEVEL YEAR. *grumbles*

2009-11-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry that I've hurt you.

Sorry is no cure.

Yes, I don't deny that. I don't blame you.
I was never like this. Until this year.

Throwing away my values seem to be the right thing to do, in order to survive. I never meant to hurt you.

Forget me, will you?
I'm just not worth loving anymore.
Because I can never love again; my heart can't glue back on its own, because there's no more faith in doing so.

2009-11-19T23:02:00.001+08:00

Last day of school tomorrow! :D

DAMN. MUST YOU BE SUCH A BIG-MOUTH?!

2009-11-17T22:29:00.003+08:00

I got my VERY OWN digital camera last night! :DD

TADA!

Isn't it a beauty? :D

NZ trip briefing. Totally speechless. So many things, so little time.

Tomorrow, I'm in charge all the way till 4.30pm. Can I just screw them & not go at all?

2009-11-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

You always make me feel so bad, demoralised & alone. I HAD ENOUGH. I'm not someone you can make use of to do ALL THE DIRTY WORK. & after I done them, you leave me alone.
If you think I'm dispensable, then YOU ARE WRONG.
I'm not sorry to make my choice to leave you. Today is the LAST STRAW. Close-knitted? KISS MY ASS.
You never needed me, so why should I stay?
I'm not going to say anything to you. Because we were never close.

It's alright, it's okay, I'm so much better without you.

2009-11-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

It was very unexpected, but I'm satisfied. My grades are alright, I can't ask for more.
Now, I just want to stop people from becoming the previous me.

2009-11-11T19:51:00.002+08:00

Pray for good news tomorrow.
Please.

2009-11-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

If only my life can be as simple as Minnie Mouse.

2 more days, just 2 more days left. I'm scared.
Please, just let me promote, conditionally or whatever. I have to.

2009-11-09T13:21:00.002+08:00

OP's over Over OVer OVEr OVER! :DDDD

TIME TO PLAY BEFORE THRUSDAY COMES AROUND -.-

POOL TOMORROW HOORAY!

2009-11-07T22:23:00.002+08:00

FAC today. It was pretty much fun although I had to wake up at an unearthly hour of 5.15am to go, of all places, Compassvale Secondary School for FAC.
Pretty fun meeting up with Milissa, Huiying & a few others. Hiked to school, tiring la. Reached school, explored the school a little, reminds me of Fuhua Sec :) Event started, links are such NOISY but uber cute kids please :DDD especially when they tell you that they need the toilet.
Later in the afternoon, cadets arrived. Extremely pleased that FHRCY came early, but my Sec 4s CAME AS SUPPORTERS WHEN THEY STILL HAVE O LEVELS -.- Looked after the "casualties", went out when FHRCY's turn came.
Helped prepare for Finals; volunteered to be at the top of the tower with Sir, super nice view of the parade square from there. :D
Event finished, cleared up, & HOME SWEET HOME.

Good job FHRCY! I know you guys did your best already. There's always next year!

Learn To Fly By A1

When you feel the dream is over
Feel the world is on your shoulders
And you lost the strength to carry on
Even though the walls may crumble
And you find you always stumble through
Remember never to surrender to the dark
Cuz if you turn another page
You will see that’s not the way
The story has to end

And if you need to find a way back
Feel you’re on the wrong track
Give it time, you’ll learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
And you will find your own way
You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry
Then you’ll learn to fly

In your head, so many questions
The truth is your possession
The answer lies within your heart (within your heart)
You will see the doors are open
If you only dare to hope
And you will find a way to fight
The fears that kept you down
Cuz if you turn another page
You will see that’s not the way
The story has to end

And if you need to find a way back
Feel you’re on the wrong track
Give it time, you’ll learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
And you will find your own way
You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry
Then you’ll learn to fly

Looking at your situation
There’s so much that you can do
Now’s the time to make your stand
This is just an observation
In the end it’s up to you
The future’s in your hands

And if you need to find a way back
Feel you’re on the wrong track
Give it time, you’ll learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
And you will find your own way
You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry
Then you’ll learn to fly

Give it time
Then you’ll learn to fly

2009-10-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

Drama today was awesome. It actually helps that the girls (and 2 guys) were damn high :) The trainer, Ros, was excellent :D I enjoyed learning new things today. & I realised I haven't lost my choir voice.
Actual preparation for SYF 2010 starts today. A hard and long process it will be, but I'll hang in there. Gold for the win, JIAYOU PJC EDS!

Calendar. I'm starting to like it. Thanks for the new name.

2009-10-29T15:56:00.000+08:00

Freaked out to the max today. Damn didn't know there are so many mistakes in our WR. Thank goodness that madness is over.

Friday: Drama
Saturday: Meet up with Auntie Lim
Sunday: Mug for CL

My schedule sounds boring.

2009-10-28T20:07:00.002+08:00

Wrecked emotions. Wandering thoughts. All thanks to ___.
I'm always getting out worse than before.
WHY?

On a lighter note, WR'S FINISHED HIP HIP HOORAY!

2009-10-26T20:50:00.001+08:00

Almost at full blasting mode today. I don't care how you think about me right now. It's your attitude that pisses me off you know. Oh the irresponsibility one can have.

YAY. WR IS FINISHED IN 2 MORE DAYS. WHAT JOY :DDDDDD

2009-10-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

I'M RAVING MAD AT THOSE IRRESPONSIBLE SOULS, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO USED TO BE FROM UNIFORMED GROUPS.

DAMN IT.

It's like, you got your timetables even before you heard about Tuesday's performance. If there's a clash you should have informed us STRAIGHTAWAY RIGHT, NOT INFORMING US AT THE LAST MINUTE. I WOULD REALLY REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. YOU TRY BEING THE ADMIN I/C, DO YOU THINK IT'S SO SIMPLE LIKE TAKING ATTENDANCE?!

I'm angry, yes, but you should know why. It's already the day before you pay and collect the ticket, yet you are telling me only NOW!? DON'T USE PW AS AN EXCUSE. YOU KNOW WHEN ARE THE DAYS WITH LONG PW LESSONS EVEN BEFORE WE TOLD YOU GUYS ABOUT THIS PERFORMACE. & WE DIDN'T MAKE IT COMPULSORY AFTER WE CHANGED THE DATE FROM WEDNESDAY TO TUESDAY. & 14 BUCKS SHOULD BE NOTHING TO YOU GUYS, SINCE YOU CAN SPEND MORE THAN 14 BUCKS ANYTIME ON SHOPPING.

SHEESH. Dam pissed now.

& I havent finished my Chinese composition, & memorising my OP script for tomorrow, after a last minute arrangement, such that we have to present tomorrow because Felicia's group is not ready (more of because some people in her group will be absent tomorrow).

SHIT LA.

FML.

2009-10-24T19:36:00.000+08:00

VS bronze & silver accreditation was fun, even though there's only 1 senior & 5 10/09s :)
Crapped & ate at Bedok Macs, then went to play Pool at Parkway Parade with George & Siokhui! There was this nice guy called Ian (or so I think) who taught us how to play properly :) I learnt so much today and now i want to play pool again! Must practise you know :D

FOCUS. PW; WR & OP!

2009-10-23T20:31:00.000+08:00

Chinese mock paper today. I think i screwed it :(
Then slacked in school for 5 hrs straight. Drama-ed.

VS evacuation accreditation tomorrow :)

2009-10-22T11:32:00.000+08:00

I need to get a good camera for my New Zealand Geography trip.

So I have 2 choices:

1)W995
-Good music
-Good camera: 8.1 megapixels

2)Cybershot digital camera
-More memory to store pictures
-At least 10.1 megapixels? :)

2 problems: PRICE & PRACTICALITY

Of course, a cybershot camera can take better pictures, but I can only take pictures, whereas I may not take good pictures with W995, yet there are more functions that I can use, like music, sms etc.

So, any ideas?

2009-10-20T10:53:00.000+08:00

Well, this is it. Haish.
Extreme disappointment. WHY? :(

There are more disappointments than happiness.
There are more deprovements than improvements.
There are more unexpectancies than expectancies.

I just cannot believe what I have just seen. Never in my dreams did I expected myself to do so badly, not when I have placed in so much more effort this time.

Am I just no good & plain dumb?
Could I have placed in more effort?
Should I be less hard on myself?
Must I be angry with myself?

Because seriously, I'm at a loss on how I should feel.
Questions left unanswered.
Questions go unanswered.

So, how? :(

2009-10-19T10:27:00.000+08:00

Exciting BBQ at Jia Man's house yesterday. Pretty much happy that my muffins are rather popular.
More pics on facebook :D

2009-10-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

I'm going to New Zealand for the Geography trip HOORAY! That's a surprise I wasn't expecting at all, since I only take H1 Geography.
BUT. It just makes my December holidays more packed than ever before:
1) 4-11 Dec: Geography trip
2)12 Dec: RCYC 1st contact session
3)15/16 Dec: Alpha outing?
4) 17-20 Dec: RCYC
5) 21 Dec: Metro-SIF CIP
6) 22 Dec onwards: Ops team5 outing?

OMG. HOW? WHAT A PACKED TIMETABLE.

2009-10-14T17:33:00.005+08:00

I thought today's learning journey was going to be pretty much boring since 09s12 was going to URA (Urban Redevelopment Authority) city center. But overall it was rather cool :D

We saw this HUGE Singapore map model which has "buildings" on it. The coolest part is that all these buildings are replicas of reality! So i managed to find my block & Fuhua Secondary :D Couldn't find PJC building though, cos very far away :( but i took a picture of the Singapore Flyer!!! :DDD

See the blue shaded building? That's my block, 663B! :D

The model of the singapore map :D

The cute Singapore Flyer! :DDD

Went upstairs and saw another HUGE map, this time it's only concentrating on the city area. Saw a bigger model of the Singapore Flyer :DDD But so sad la, i wanted to take a picture of the Esplanade model but it's too far away T.T

Ngee Ann City

Takashimaya S.C

Wisma Atrium

ION Orchard

The building above ION Orchard

Tangs Plaza

Istana Park ( I wish i could capture RC HQ!)

National Stadium

Kallang Leisure Park, Singapore Indoor Stadium

Marina Barrage

The Singapore Flyer! (except that this picture is zoomed up to the maximum -.-)

Later, we have to go downstairs again, & we managed to squeeze into one damn small lift. HAHAHAHAHA suresh scared to take the lift with us, and it's not because there was no more space in the lift XD

Supposed to go and see temples, but due to bad weather, went to makan at Maxwell Market. Sian i feel that the Madam Tan's Nasi Lemak that i ate, famous for it being "so 'lemak' you can swim in it" was rather disappointing luh. Especially the chili -.- It's not the normal spicy sambal chili that i was expecting. And it's not very 'lemak' to me. Even the sambal long beans were soggy =.= But the chicken wing saved the day :D

Reported back to PJC, and took my CAPTAIN'S BALL GOLD MEDAL from yesterday :DDDD

After that, headed for Yew Tee to meet Felicia to buy ingredients need for...

BAKING OF MUFFINS!

Yup! My first time at baking too!

Go her blog for more details, but the muffins were AWESOME! Delicious too, i might add. :D

WHOLE BODY ACHING );

2009-10-13T23:19:00.000+08:00

OWENS CAPTAIN BALL TEAM WAS FRIGGING AWESOME TODAY! :D

overslept real bad today! :( but managed to reach school before our first game because daddy fetched me :)
trashed Nobel 20-2 :D managed to beat everyone except Byron -.- but it's cool okay! :D

yeah luh thats all :D

2009-10-12T20:28:00.002+08:00

O-W-E-N-S, you can go and kiss my ass!

:DDDDD

INTER-HOUSE GAMES TOMORROW! GO OWENS!

2009-10-11T13:27:00.003+08:00

Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely by Backstreet Boys

Show me the meaning of being lonely
So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

[Chorus:]
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze upon me
Guilty roads to an endless love (endless love)
There's no control
Are you with me now?
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body, and soul
How can it be
You're asking me
To feel the things you never show

You are missing in my heart
Tell me why I can't be there where you are

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

2009-10-10T14:50:00.002+08:00

Louisa,

Good Luck in your future endeavours. May you succeed in Australia.

Jeslynn.

2009-10-09T12:19:00.001+08:00

1 year ago, it was Fuhua's 6th Graduating Batch last day.

3rd October 2008.

My very last day with 4e5, the best class ever.

Went to school with Esther, Michelle, Gao Yan, Pitrie & Jing Xi. Played our favourite game: Captain's Ball, as a class for the last time. Wore our class tee for the first time as a class. Celebrated in the hall with balloons :) See Shi Yuan doing the emceeing. Got my gift from FHRCY juniors :D Ate at Sakura with 4e5 at night.

As the 7th batch graduates today, i reminisce about our very last day. It's still clear in my mind. I am and still missing 4e5 :) I hope everyone is doing fine.

2009-10-07T11:13:00.000+08:00

Promos are over just 24 hours ago :D rushed to Parkway Parade for pool & ecp cycling :)

not counting today, there are 4 days of FREEDOM left. (even though there's still the transcript to do -.-) :D

an analysis of promos:
GP: quite alright, even though i did a super popular question for essay. managed to complete my comprehension (including QA) for once :D
Economics: not good. only satisfied for DRQ, but i screwed paper 2. did the wrong question. wish i studied more for econs.
Geography: not too bad. concentrated too much on the spottings, & only 2 out of the 3 spottings came out both of which are human geography. thank goodness it's earthquakes :)
Chemistry: the most disappointing paper of all. the subject which i mugged the most for and yet i still find the paper damn difficult. super upset with chemistry.
Maths: one word: TOUGH. but still can do. only managed to complete 2 full questions with confidence of getting full marks for them.
Chinese: not easy. but i still can pass :D

haish. my 2h2 papers are screwed, again ):

playing now, ciaos~

2009-10-02T19:19:00.000+08:00

after today, i think i'll get retained.
no doubt about it.
my fate is already sealed.
not in terms of whether i'll get retained or not, it's whether God wants me to reincarnate or not.

so. 41 more days to be alive.

2009-10-01T21:03:00.002+08:00

tell me:

is drowning, or consuming an over-dosage of pills easier/cleaner to die?

i think i have made up my mind on whether to live or die on november 12 (the latter being a 99.9% possibility, after today's econs paper).

suicidal;

2009-09-28T19:25:00.002+08:00

I want to consume a hundred Panadol pills. Not only will my current headache go away, my life can dissolve into nothingness. I'm sick of living this meaningless life. I've lost my grip on life.

[edit]
Whenever i see your face, i don't even smile now. i can't even laugh now. i can only look away. sometimes, i wonder whether it was right of you to tell me; i could be still in my illusioned world. now, i won't even get to know the <10% of your story if i don't get the words "promoted to JC2" on my promotional results slip on 12 nov. i don't care anymore; you, of all you, managed to wreck (a small) part of my life as well. seriously, i don't think i can face you at the next event. maybe mixing with the girls (subha, huiying, milissa, siokhui, manwei etc.) or the guys (jiaxian, george, jingkai, calvin, khairul) might help. hopefully these people are going for the next event too...
i will not cry. i must not cry.
[/edit]

the dreaded 9 days;

2009-09-27T14:49:00.001+08:00

tomorrow is the start of the dreaded, 9 terrifying days of promos.
i only wish to do well.

-GP: do well for essay, try to pass comprehension. perhaps an E.
-Economics: PASS. i MUST. E grade.
-Geography: perhaps a C/D grade that i'm to aim for.
-Chemistry: 59 MARKS OR A B GRADE.
-Maths: maintain my standard. AIM FOR AN A GRADE.
-Chinese: C grade. nothing more :)

PLEASE. LET ME PASS EVERYTHING.

I DON'T WANT TO GET RETAINED.

09S12;

2009-09-25T22:23:00.001+08:00

full attendance on that day :)

the fun, the joy, the laughter; ingredients of 09S12.

the memories will always be remembered.

JIAYOU FOR PROMOS! DON'T GIVE UP YET! WE CAN STILL PROMOTE AS ONE CLASS!

4 days;

2009-09-24T10:53:00.001+08:00

thanks to I&R, i did not wake up at 5am, but woke up at 6.30am instead. and yet im still tired.
falling asleep one time too many in lectures and tutorials this week.

7 days;

2009-09-21T19:05:00.000+08:00

one more week.
i hope to make it through J1.
because i definitely dont want to get retained.

retainment will be my death sentence.

10 days;

2009-09-18T20:08:00.000+08:00

not sure about how much i will get for my maths test.
revision's pretty okay this week. for once im pretty satisfied.

Inter-House Games; im in captain's ball with shihan :DDD
majority of the girls are in volleyball. felicia will get a shock soon XD not gonna say why yet.

cant wait for pw to end, no?

promos;

2009-09-17T18:54:00.002+08:00

im not prepared.
im just not prepared.
but i still have to face the harsh world out there, even though im running out of time and steam.

first day of term 4;

2009-09-14T19:43:00.000+08:00

passed econs case study. FINALLY.
failed chemistry test T.T
slept only 3-4 hours last night. wont do it ever again, 'cos im so mentally tired today. next tme, i think i better sleep for 5 hours.
took 975 to BP interchange, switched to 180 and slept all the way to boonlay interchange :DDD
currently extremely recharged and ready to chiong TRANSCRIPT EWWWWW.
ciaos~