i am really disappointed with myself.
MY CONFIDENCE LEVEL AND PRIDE HAVE GONE SO LOW,ITS NEGATIVE.LIFE IS NOT OF ANY WORTH TO ME ANYMORE.MY LOST AND TRASHED PRIDE AND CONFIDENCE HAD MADE MY DREAMS,HOPES AND WISHES DISAPPEAR. LIFE IS SO MEANINGLESS!!!

TODAY ONE OF THE ULP PEOPLE DROPPED HER WATCH AND THE GLASS SCREEN OF HER WATCH BROKE. IF ONLY I TOOK THE BROKEN GLASS TO REMOVE THE PAIN WITHIN ME...

SEEING THE REDDISH DISAPPOINTMENTS FLOW OUT OF ME MAKES ME SMILE:)

*i didnt want you to find out about what im thinking now.i didnt expect it.sorry for making you worried, but no one can help me now.

6 POINTS
that is how much i lost to alvin in L1R5

8 POINTS
that is how much i lost to shu wen for L1R5

13 POINTS
that is how much i lost to wen bin in L1R5


I FEEL SO CRAP, SO MISERABLE. EVERYONE IS TELLING ME THAT I MUST RELAX, BUT HOW CAN I IF IM GETTING SO SHIT RESULTS? I CANT RELAX DURING THIS HOLIDAY AT ALL. THIS IS THE TIME FOR ME TO BUCK UP!!! THE SITUATION AT HOME IS NOT HELPING EITHER. I WANNA THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR CONCERNS, BUT NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME NOW, OTHER THAN MAKING SURE THAT MY L1R5 IS 18 POINTS AT THE END OF YEAR.


NOTHING CAN CURE THE BROKEN PRIDE AND THE PAIN WITHIN ME...
ONLY A PENKNIFE CAN DO THE TRICK.

*on a small note, i wanna thank you for consoling me, advising me, talking to me. it helps a lot.
*im just an OUTSIDER, an EXTRA; dont worry about me. seeing you happy makes me smile:)

A SINGLE BET HAS INFLICTED A WOUND ON ME.
PRIDE IS FLOWING OUT OF MY WOUND PROFUSELY.
ONLY A PENKNIFE CAN STOP THE BLEEDING WOUND.

a lesson learnt today (from both red cross seniors and HIM)...

*when you ask someone whether you have changed for the better, it shows that you have not changed in any way, because others will naturally praise you if you have changed for the better. You do not need to ask them if you have changed for the better.

*sorry if i had lied to you, i just wanted to make you feel better...

i have a few points to say...

1. JUNE holiday = NO holiday
2. ULP: MEETINGS PROPOSALS PLANNINGS SCOLDINGS LAST-MINUTE-STUFF DISCUSSIONS
3. FUHUA SEC: HOMEWORK REMEDIALS
4. RED CROSS: PLANNINGS TRAININGS COMMITTEE HANDOVER
5. STRESSED BUSYBEE
6. FRUSTRATIONS ANGER IRRITATED PISSED ANXIOUS
7. emotionally hurt
8. heck-careness
9. emotionless
10. denials can never hide the truth within...
11. apologies can never heal the wounds you left behind in my life...
12. cold and indifferent and hard heart
13. liars betrayers peabrains unappreciative&ungrateful ponners fakers
14. im been trying to keep my days free just for ulp here...why cant u guys make time for the so few meetings that we can have??? the people going for camp and overseas is okay, but wad abt the rest of you!?!?
15. why do i have to try so hard and put in so much effort when others are not doing it!?!?
16. i guess ULP will be the HARDEST camp EVER!!!
17. i have no choice but to be stressed...u guys are putting me in a spot...i have to keep asking you things but u wun reply...then in the end i get scoldings...what for!?!? i wish u guys will understand me that as a secretary, i have to keep track of what u guys are doing and know abt ur personal information!!!!

lolx i so long nvr update le....i have practically forgotten everything of this last week of sch except today...
so today was CLASS BONDING DAY. we are allowed to wear home clothes to sch (our class settled on white or black clothes to show unity in our class, since our class tee nt ready yet...). then we order burgers and iced milo for breakfast...AND MISS YEO SPONSERED US!!!! WOOHOO!!! THANKS MISS YEO!!! (((((: so came to sch in white shirt and jeans... waiseng very lame lor, when he saw me asked me why nvr wear skirt.... -.-
then later went with wen bin, michelle and choon seng to go collect the food and drinks... michelle so cute buy one burger for miss yeo then she pay aledi nvr collect the burger...luckily she remembered so i ran back to get lor...
in the class, everyone sit in one circle then our hands tied together by raffia string... omg my hands tied with jing xi's ones... -.- so had loads of fun playing games and seeing others doing forfeits...hahax... juz that i keep seeing "it" which sumhow spoiled a bit of my mood... but i shouldnt even be caring abt these things...
so today was a really fun last day of sch... ciaos!!!

juz came back frm ulp briefing....havent even start ulp camp and it is already tough cans???

went with lily today to rc campsite...other than jasper and two peeps frm nco camp, i recognize no one la. summore no VI from west zone area de....scary.

so funny de...98 people go for ulp, then is split into 3 platoons: alpha,bravo and charlie. then frm the platoons split into 3 groups. my platoon is charlie (same with lily and king ngee!!!) but my grp is C2 (lily and king ngee is C1). the briefing was like....let's juz say have a lot of details to remember...got proposals, projects, lesson plans blahblahblah...

I LOVE MY C2 GROUP PEEPS!!! super nice, super enthu, super talkative!!! (((((:

then summore got committee in the grp de...i becum secetary cum treasurer. poor lily is chairperson, summore her grp is like depending on her de...

finally end la, then me and lily go home together...poor lily so blur. then we take bus then drop off at the mrt station. we saw sum crazy people who walked frm rc campsite to mrt station, then the crazy guys started running coz they scared later toilet full then have to wait very long to change...then i got the hint la, so i chiong with lily and sum other gurls to the toilet as well. we muz have been labelled as insane,mad and crazy by passerbys coz we were like running in rc uniform, shouting like hell and making so much noise. who cares, we reach toilet first, tired and happy. -.-

i really hope can pass ulp though...it means so much to me lor... ((((:

i go and do my lesson plan le, ciaos!

got back most of my results le...looks like i REALLY have to MUG HARD during the june holidays to buck up...i cant possibly be losing to alvin all the time, even though i have lost my bet with him...



today wo de shou huo hen hao...i juz luv my new songs!!! damn nice lor!!! erm...thanks for being so patient when waiting for me to return you your hp, i REALLY appreciate that...



redcross today...i feel that i was slightly better, although now very stressed of taking over...pt was okie, except was vveerry stressed of thinking of cheers. footdrill next...the sec 2s really not bad la, but i realli wish u guys can SHOUT louder and open ur golden mouths...captain's ball was fun, bud zq sir like playing basketball like that, shoot into the net... -.-, then when i grab the ball i fall again mah then he TRIPPED over me la!!! gosh so darn embarrassing!!!GOSH...going to take over in a few weeks time...darn worried lor..

OHMIGOSH LILY GOING FOR ULP TOO!!!!!! WWHHOOPPEE!!!!!

to that ONE person...i never cry becoz of wad you did i promise! just really frustrated of my chem marks...SERIOUS! dun worry so much! but thanks for caring! (((((:

just because we shared so much secrets yesterday doesnt mean i have changed my opinion of YOU. thanks for caring anyway. i really cant believe u can be sooooo devoted lor... juz wish u all the best with ur partner... ((((((:

today got back my results...it's horrible...the one person i really cant stand losing is him.

sorry to that ONE person for failing my physics...again.

today went to find one of the seniors for her email address, then xiao wen ma'am asked me how cum i seemed to be always the one cumin to them to ask for information instead of the others. how u expect me to answer her lor...

u said that he has changed for the better...well...as a matter-of-fact, he has not...in my opinion...





i wish that someday i could go up to the 100th storey and sit on the window ledge with a penknife and reflect on my past achievements, happiness, setbacks and disappointements. i am sure i will be pulled down 100 storeys by the number of setbacks and disappointements.

2nd post of the day... well i muz say that the sec 4s are SO MAD coz they only told us today that we are going to plan the friday training!!!!!! NOW THEN U TELL US....VERY RUSHING LEH!!!!
i wun treat my juniors to dis kind of last minute things next year i SWEAR!!!

CLASS TEE.....wondering whether the green one or red one nicer...sitting on the fence..... :/ but very sure this year's class tee is going to be DAMN NICE DE!!!!

to shu wen...wah ur sms to alvin the english i cannot understand leh....took me a while to noe wad u are telling him leh....but thanks for telling him... ((((((((:

signing off...SIAN LEH tmr school again...TAKING BACK RESULTS LE....tata!

so happy got this one day break...i wan go library!!!

just a message for alvin (shu wen if u happen to see this pls help me pass it to ur laogong thx...)

to: alvin
you have HURT me too many a times this year. you have made me lost my trust in you TOTALLY. how can i give u another chance to change when i know you will only TRY to change, not MUST change? there is a difference between "TRY" and "MUST". think about it. im sorry about letting out ur favour of me... but at that time im really SICK, SAD and DISAPPOINTED in YOU.

from: jeslynn

YAY!!!! im going for ULP!!!! jasper too!!! sadded tat kaiting cannot go....coz ndp ppl cant go for ulp...kind of crap leh...but so many contact sessions...can die wan leh....

OMG....CHEMISTRY RESULTS OUT LE...I WAN NOE MY MARKS!!!!! ARGH!!!

i tink Blogger go INSANE and MAD and CRAZY le...omg...

shall dedicate this video to alvin....coz it really explains what i can't tell him in words...enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIT_836Hqc0

tis blog is so dead lor....finally i am back...juz finished mye...whew...

nothing really much happened during the days b4 mye...the only excitement is the red cross day on 8 may (coincidentially zq's burfday too!). so in the morning went to school in rc uniform, only to see my juniors STILL IN SCHOOL UNIFORM AT 6.25AM?!?! juz becoz nada havent cum??? LOLX. later study emaths then i realised cant sit down so have to stand...darn....second one cum to class muz be ALVIN lar....UUGGHH!!!!! SUAY SHIT LOR....later later later...fall in with the rest le...my juniors disturb me like crazy la....say wad got flies above my beret...then sing burfday song for all the may babies.... :)))) later CHIOBU ESTHER MA'AM came la...duno wen she started looking so damn super CHIO....she very pei with the CHIOBU miss lee....assembly...zq sir stand at microphone there (looking at him all the time...coz alvin pulling the school flag... -.-)...the the national anthem take so long to cum out...then afterwards i tink zq sir forget how to say national pledge le...coz he got stumble a bit...later even worse, say the FIRST SENTENCE of the RED CROSS PLEDGE wrongly la!!!! sooooooooooooo embarrassing la!!!
so then blahblahblah for the rest of the days until today... juz now i go up the 198 bus then the bus breakdown....so suay cans

now for miscellaneous stuff...

firstly, RED CROSS. now mye end le im getting more and more worried....it's like....THE SEC 3 COMMITTEE ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER NEXT MONTH LE!!! so darn fast la... im worried abt rc's future in our hands....will we make the unit rise to greater heights?!?!? i hope so.....

next...this few days i seem to be seeing my jwps mates...saw raymond on friday, yunian on sunday and tyty for quite a couple of times le

cum to tink of it...i wuld want to thank esther lim, valerie and pei chuan for "putting" me up in ur classrooms during the exam period...i really very distracted by the "scene" in 3s5 (pc and valerie, u noe wad i mean) until i cant study...i dun even care now la if i keep disappearing frm 3s5 classroom nowadays...

now i got some "letters" i would REALLY LOVE to write, but i do not dare...maybe next time...

1ST LETTER
To: Wen Bin
thanks for helping me in most of my studies during the exam period...it really helps...and you are a good teacher... :)))))

from: jeslynn


2ND LETTER
To: Jing Rong
i wish u wun be so scared of me la...i look at u crapping also cannot meh...if u are smart u wun believe felicia's rumours la...i really hope to be good frens with u again la...im nt even scared of u la...

from: jeslynn


3RD LETTER
To: Shu Wen
i juz sadden lo...i noe that u wan be with ur laogong la...bud...u go with the other gurls...i feel like shit inside la...maybe im juz toking crap.... -.- i only have one warning for u: ALVIN IS NOT WHAT HE SEEMED TO BE. u better be more wary of him le..

from: jeslynn


4TH LETTER
To: Alvin
from yesterday when u say u were nt free to teach me physics...i am JUZ PLAIN ANGRY, SHOCKED AND DISAPPOINTED IN YOU AND MYSELF. anyone can be selfish at their schoolwork, but NOT YOU. u said that physics was a COMMON SENSE subject, would it LITERALLY KILL YOU to juz teach me a few questions that even wen bin does not know? u say wen bin's physics better than urs, u SHOULD BE HONOURED THAT THERE ARE QUESTIONS THAT U MAY KNOW BUT HE DUNNO...u then asked a BIG FAVOUR from me (you should know what im toking about). i been thinking about whether i should do it for you...but now...i feel that YOU ARE JUST LITERALLY MAKING OF USE OF ME AND MY WEAKNESS ONLY. i wun agree to help u with this favour becoz i realise that BY HELPING YOU TO DO THIS FAVOUR, WE ARE BOTH HURTING AND BETRAYING SHU WEN. i do not want shu wen to be upset with the both of us if she ever finds out about this favour...seeing through ur true colors...now i know why yun zhong say i siao wen i keep pinning for you...THINK ABOUT IT.

from: jeslynn


to wrap up this SUPER LONG POST... i will introduce this new song i juz found (courtesy by esther ma'am)

Just So You Know- Jesse McCartney
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

*CHORUS
Just so you know
This feelings taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want toI just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I am not
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

*CHORUS

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

*CHORUS


nice lyrics...

i am really disappointed with myself.
MY CONFIDENCE LEVEL AND PRIDE HAVE GONE SO LOW,ITS NEGATIVE.LIFE IS NOT OF ANY WORTH TO ME ANYMORE.MY LOST AND TRASHED PRIDE AND CONFIDENCE HAD MADE MY DREAMS,HOPES AND WISHES DISAPPEAR. LIFE IS SO MEANINGLESS!!!

TODAY ONE OF THE ULP PEOPLE DROPPED HER WATCH AND THE GLASS SCREEN OF HER WATCH BROKE. IF ONLY I TOOK THE BROKEN GLASS TO REMOVE THE PAIN WITHIN ME...

SEEING THE REDDISH DISAPPOINTMENTS FLOW OUT OF ME MAKES ME SMILE:)

*i didnt want you to find out about what im thinking now.i didnt expect it.sorry for making you worried, but no one can help me now.

6 POINTS
that is how much i lost to alvin in L1R5

8 POINTS
that is how much i lost to shu wen for L1R5

13 POINTS
that is how much i lost to wen bin in L1R5


I FEEL SO CRAP, SO MISERABLE. EVERYONE IS TELLING ME THAT I MUST RELAX, BUT HOW CAN I IF IM GETTING SO SHIT RESULTS? I CANT RELAX DURING THIS HOLIDAY AT ALL. THIS IS THE TIME FOR ME TO BUCK UP!!! THE SITUATION AT HOME IS NOT HELPING EITHER. I WANNA THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR CONCERNS, BUT NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME NOW, OTHER THAN MAKING SURE THAT MY L1R5 IS 18 POINTS AT THE END OF YEAR.


NOTHING CAN CURE THE BROKEN PRIDE AND THE PAIN WITHIN ME...
ONLY A PENKNIFE CAN DO THE TRICK.

*on a small note, i wanna thank you for consoling me, advising me, talking to me. it helps a lot.
*im just an OUTSIDER, an EXTRA; dont worry about me. seeing you happy makes me smile:)

A SINGLE BET HAS INFLICTED A WOUND ON ME.
PRIDE IS FLOWING OUT OF MY WOUND PROFUSELY.
ONLY A PENKNIFE CAN STOP THE BLEEDING WOUND.

a lesson learnt today (from both red cross seniors and HIM)...

*when you ask someone whether you have changed for the better, it shows that you have not changed in any way, because others will naturally praise you if you have changed for the better. You do not need to ask them if you have changed for the better.

*sorry if i had lied to you, i just wanted to make you feel better...

i have a few points to say...

1. JUNE holiday = NO holiday
2. ULP: MEETINGS PROPOSALS PLANNINGS SCOLDINGS LAST-MINUTE-STUFF DISCUSSIONS
3. FUHUA SEC: HOMEWORK REMEDIALS
4. RED CROSS: PLANNINGS TRAININGS COMMITTEE HANDOVER
5. STRESSED BUSYBEE
6. FRUSTRATIONS ANGER IRRITATED PISSED ANXIOUS
7. emotionally hurt
8. heck-careness
9. emotionless
10. denials can never hide the truth within...
11. apologies can never heal the wounds you left behind in my life...
12. cold and indifferent and hard heart
13. liars betrayers peabrains unappreciative&ungrateful ponners fakers
14. im been trying to keep my days free just for ulp here...why cant u guys make time for the so few meetings that we can have??? the people going for camp and overseas is okay, but wad abt the rest of you!?!?
15. why do i have to try so hard and put in so much effort when others are not doing it!?!?
16. i guess ULP will be the HARDEST camp EVER!!!
17. i have no choice but to be stressed...u guys are putting me in a spot...i have to keep asking you things but u wun reply...then in the end i get scoldings...what for!?!? i wish u guys will understand me that as a secretary, i have to keep track of what u guys are doing and know abt ur personal information!!!!

lolx i so long nvr update le....i have practically forgotten everything of this last week of sch except today...
so today was CLASS BONDING DAY. we are allowed to wear home clothes to sch (our class settled on white or black clothes to show unity in our class, since our class tee nt ready yet...). then we order burgers and iced milo for breakfast...AND MISS YEO SPONSERED US!!!! WOOHOO!!! THANKS MISS YEO!!! (((((: so came to sch in white shirt and jeans... waiseng very lame lor, when he saw me asked me why nvr wear skirt.... -.-
then later went with wen bin, michelle and choon seng to go collect the food and drinks... michelle so cute buy one burger for miss yeo then she pay aledi nvr collect the burger...luckily she remembered so i ran back to get lor...
in the class, everyone sit in one circle then our hands tied together by raffia string... omg my hands tied with jing xi's ones... -.- so had loads of fun playing games and seeing others doing forfeits...hahax... juz that i keep seeing "it" which sumhow spoiled a bit of my mood... but i shouldnt even be caring abt these things...
so today was a really fun last day of sch... ciaos!!!

juz came back frm ulp briefing....havent even start ulp camp and it is already tough cans???

went with lily today to rc campsite...other than jasper and two peeps frm nco camp, i recognize no one la. summore no VI from west zone area de....scary.

so funny de...98 people go for ulp, then is split into 3 platoons: alpha,bravo and charlie. then frm the platoons split into 3 groups. my platoon is charlie (same with lily and king ngee!!!) but my grp is C2 (lily and king ngee is C1). the briefing was like....let's juz say have a lot of details to remember...got proposals, projects, lesson plans blahblahblah...

I LOVE MY C2 GROUP PEEPS!!! super nice, super enthu, super talkative!!! (((((:

then summore got committee in the grp de...i becum secetary cum treasurer. poor lily is chairperson, summore her grp is like depending on her de...

finally end la, then me and lily go home together...poor lily so blur. then we take bus then drop off at the mrt station. we saw sum crazy people who walked frm rc campsite to mrt station, then the crazy guys started running coz they scared later toilet full then have to wait very long to change...then i got the hint la, so i chiong with lily and sum other gurls to the toilet as well. we muz have been labelled as insane,mad and crazy by passerbys coz we were like running in rc uniform, shouting like hell and making so much noise. who cares, we reach toilet first, tired and happy. -.-

i really hope can pass ulp though...it means so much to me lor... ((((:

i go and do my lesson plan le, ciaos!

got back most of my results le...looks like i REALLY have to MUG HARD during the june holidays to buck up...i cant possibly be losing to alvin all the time, even though i have lost my bet with him...



today wo de shou huo hen hao...i juz luv my new songs!!! damn nice lor!!! erm...thanks for being so patient when waiting for me to return you your hp, i REALLY appreciate that...



redcross today...i feel that i was slightly better, although now very stressed of taking over...pt was okie, except was vveerry stressed of thinking of cheers. footdrill next...the sec 2s really not bad la, but i realli wish u guys can SHOUT louder and open ur golden mouths...captain's ball was fun, bud zq sir like playing basketball like that, shoot into the net... -.-, then when i grab the ball i fall again mah then he TRIPPED over me la!!! gosh so darn embarrassing!!!GOSH...going to take over in a few weeks time...darn worried lor..

OHMIGOSH LILY GOING FOR ULP TOO!!!!!! WWHHOOPPEE!!!!!

to that ONE person...i never cry becoz of wad you did i promise! just really frustrated of my chem marks...SERIOUS! dun worry so much! but thanks for caring! (((((:

just because we shared so much secrets yesterday doesnt mean i have changed my opinion of YOU. thanks for caring anyway. i really cant believe u can be sooooo devoted lor... juz wish u all the best with ur partner... ((((((:

today got back my results...it's horrible...the one person i really cant stand losing is him.

sorry to that ONE person for failing my physics...again.

today went to find one of the seniors for her email address, then xiao wen ma'am asked me how cum i seemed to be always the one cumin to them to ask for information instead of the others. how u expect me to answer her lor...

u said that he has changed for the better...well...as a matter-of-fact, he has not...in my opinion...





i wish that someday i could go up to the 100th storey and sit on the window ledge with a penknife and reflect on my past achievements, happiness, setbacks and disappointements. i am sure i will be pulled down 100 storeys by the number of setbacks and disappointements.

2nd post of the day... well i muz say that the sec 4s are SO MAD coz they only told us today that we are going to plan the friday training!!!!!! NOW THEN U TELL US....VERY RUSHING LEH!!!!
i wun treat my juniors to dis kind of last minute things next year i SWEAR!!!

CLASS TEE.....wondering whether the green one or red one nicer...sitting on the fence..... :/ but very sure this year's class tee is going to be DAMN NICE DE!!!!

to shu wen...wah ur sms to alvin the english i cannot understand leh....took me a while to noe wad u are telling him leh....but thanks for telling him... ((((((((:

signing off...SIAN LEH tmr school again...TAKING BACK RESULTS LE....tata!

so happy got this one day break...i wan go library!!!

just a message for alvin (shu wen if u happen to see this pls help me pass it to ur laogong thx...)

to: alvin
you have HURT me too many a times this year. you have made me lost my trust in you TOTALLY. how can i give u another chance to change when i know you will only TRY to change, not MUST change? there is a difference between "TRY" and "MUST". think about it. im sorry about letting out ur favour of me... but at that time im really SICK, SAD and DISAPPOINTED in YOU.

from: jeslynn

YAY!!!! im going for ULP!!!! jasper too!!! sadded tat kaiting cannot go....coz ndp ppl cant go for ulp...kind of crap leh...but so many contact sessions...can die wan leh....

OMG....CHEMISTRY RESULTS OUT LE...I WAN NOE MY MARKS!!!!! ARGH!!!

i tink Blogger go INSANE and MAD and CRAZY le...omg...

shall dedicate this video to alvin....coz it really explains what i can't tell him in words...enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIT_836Hqc0

tis blog is so dead lor....finally i am back...juz finished mye...whew...

nothing really much happened during the days b4 mye...the only excitement is the red cross day on 8 may (coincidentially zq's burfday too!). so in the morning went to school in rc uniform, only to see my juniors STILL IN SCHOOL UNIFORM AT 6.25AM?!?! juz becoz nada havent cum??? LOLX. later study emaths then i realised cant sit down so have to stand...darn....second one cum to class muz be ALVIN lar....UUGGHH!!!!! SUAY SHIT LOR....later later later...fall in with the rest le...my juniors disturb me like crazy la....say wad got flies above my beret...then sing burfday song for all the may babies.... :)))) later CHIOBU ESTHER MA'AM came la...duno wen she started looking so damn super CHIO....she very pei with the CHIOBU miss lee....assembly...zq sir stand at microphone there (looking at him all the time...coz alvin pulling the school flag... -.-)...the the national anthem take so long to cum out...then afterwards i tink zq sir forget how to say national pledge le...coz he got stumble a bit...later even worse, say the FIRST SENTENCE of the RED CROSS PLEDGE wrongly la!!!! sooooooooooooo embarrassing la!!!
so then blahblahblah for the rest of the days until today... juz now i go up the 198 bus then the bus breakdown....so suay cans

now for miscellaneous stuff...

firstly, RED CROSS. now mye end le im getting more and more worried....it's like....THE SEC 3 COMMITTEE ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER NEXT MONTH LE!!! so darn fast la... im worried abt rc's future in our hands....will we make the unit rise to greater heights?!?!? i hope so.....

next...this few days i seem to be seeing my jwps mates...saw raymond on friday, yunian on sunday and tyty for quite a couple of times le

cum to tink of it...i wuld want to thank esther lim, valerie and pei chuan for "putting" me up in ur classrooms during the exam period...i really very distracted by the "scene" in 3s5 (pc and valerie, u noe wad i mean) until i cant study...i dun even care now la if i keep disappearing frm 3s5 classroom nowadays...

now i got some "letters" i would REALLY LOVE to write, but i do not dare...maybe next time...

1ST LETTER
To: Wen Bin
thanks for helping me in most of my studies during the exam period...it really helps...and you are a good teacher... :)))))

from: jeslynn


2ND LETTER
To: Jing Rong
i wish u wun be so scared of me la...i look at u crapping also cannot meh...if u are smart u wun believe felicia's rumours la...i really hope to be good frens with u again la...im nt even scared of u la...

from: jeslynn


3RD LETTER
To: Shu Wen
i juz sadden lo...i noe that u wan be with ur laogong la...bud...u go with the other gurls...i feel like shit inside la...maybe im juz toking crap.... -.- i only have one warning for u: ALVIN IS NOT WHAT HE SEEMED TO BE. u better be more wary of him le..

from: jeslynn


4TH LETTER
To: Alvin
from yesterday when u say u were nt free to teach me physics...i am JUZ PLAIN ANGRY, SHOCKED AND DISAPPOINTED IN YOU AND MYSELF. anyone can be selfish at their schoolwork, but NOT YOU. u said that physics was a COMMON SENSE subject, would it LITERALLY KILL YOU to juz teach me a few questions that even wen bin does not know? u say wen bin's physics better than urs, u SHOULD BE HONOURED THAT THERE ARE QUESTIONS THAT U MAY KNOW BUT HE DUNNO...u then asked a BIG FAVOUR from me (you should know what im toking about). i been thinking about whether i should do it for you...but now...i feel that YOU ARE JUST LITERALLY MAKING OF USE OF ME AND MY WEAKNESS ONLY. i wun agree to help u with this favour becoz i realise that BY HELPING YOU TO DO THIS FAVOUR, WE ARE BOTH HURTING AND BETRAYING SHU WEN. i do not want shu wen to be upset with the both of us if she ever finds out about this favour...seeing through ur true colors...now i know why yun zhong say i siao wen i keep pinning for you...THINK ABOUT IT.

from: jeslynn


to wrap up this SUPER LONG POST... i will introduce this new song i juz found (courtesy by esther ma'am)

Just So You Know- Jesse McCartney
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

*CHORUS
Just so you know
This feelings taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want toI just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I am not
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

*CHORUS

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

*CHORUS


nice lyrics...