okay so my 3 juniors went haywire over my chocolates today..all dun wan the fruit and nut chocolates haha...scary man.(: got to go le haha sorry so short post :s
*this current song of mine really suit my feelings now...when can i EVER let go of him and PERMANENTLY remove him from my heart?*

confused thoughts...does it have to end up this way?

things will never be the same again. everyone changes as time flies by.

im real sorry for taking advantage of you...i should have known you better.

thanks to my DEAREST SEC ONE RC JUNIOR, i shall waste about half an hour of my time which can be used to study for emaths test on tues updating my blog *no la kidding only la haha but i really have test on tues... :D

so the highlight of this week is that...
firstly: I GOT SECOND HIGHEST WITH YUN ZHONG FOR HISTORY TEST AND A SWEET A1 FOR GEOGRAPHY TEST!!!!! it has since given me a small ray of hope. the best thing is that i have FINALLY beaten nivla hands down!! VICTORY IS SWEET!
secondly: CINDY, HUILING and NADA GOT 3RD IN WEST DISTRICT FOR CURRENT AFFAIRS COMPETITION!!! okay im so proud of them la, will be getting for them chocolates next week. *following esther ma'am's footsteps XD
thirdly: i got a packet of sweet, jelly-like sweets from esther ma'am for passing my footdrill gold! so nice and yummy! :DDDDD

now the not so good news...
rumours circulating among the sec 3s UG committees that tis year ndp parade (school-based) might be cancelled...hoping that it will not becum a reality...

fridAY started off well, but ended not on a high note. during PE, i ran my shuttle run, and got a timing of 10.3s!!! yipee!!!~after recess was history. since it was filing day, so i became the "puncher girl" for the day. it's like they give me one HUGE pile of history notes to punch then i punch punch punch until my fingers pain...the situation became a bit chaotic though :x...then i duno how, but sumhow jing yi's test paper went missing!!! i was like OMG!?!? how the paper went missing in the classroom!?!? then mr ng make the whole class stand until can find jing yi's paper...the guys (cs, nivla,mr bean) so funny la search thru my TUITION FILE( hello her paper wun be there! ((((:), the english summary worksheets, my homework file too...LOLX, but in the end didnt found lo...then mr ng wrote on the board: the next filing session no one is to borrow jeslynn's hole puncher. i really laughed at that :DDD *sorry to jing yi for indirectly losing ur history test paper!!! D: so then next was amaths. got one of the lowest in class for the test again...luckily i wasnt the only one (surprisingly enough nivla have the same marks as mine...) so ms yeo suan suan suan a lot of people, especially nivla. for once i felt real sorry for him :x *hey nivla dun be disappointed, must buck up! surprise ms yeo this cuming emaths test!!! jiayous!!! so then next was redcross. was feeling pleased that the juniors' drills are improving..so jiayous to the sec 1s yeah? oh ya must thank esther ma'am for training them so well...must learn frm her XD.

today was supposed to be a great day, since it is sunday. but today has been spoilt totally by an INSENSITIVE remark. my day has been ruined. how could u do this to me!?!? how could u be so insensitive to my feelings!?!? u heartless beast! how can i see u in a new light again!?!? *cries* D:

I PASSED FOOTDRILL GOLD!!!!
SHI YUAN AND MARDIANA PASSED EVACUATION BRONZE!!!

*and we are getting chocolates from esther ma'am next friday hahahaha...XD

this few days at the boon lay bus interchange free coke bottles are being given out!!! so cool!!!
and tuesday was a great day...only two people will know why...haha(:

there is rc training tomorrow and im so afraid. ):
i wan go inline skating tomorrow!!!! (:
guilt seems to overwhelm me this few days... ):

it's the slashings and cuttings which gives me the most satisfaction(:
dun try and stop me.(:

i never felt more angry and pissed in my whole life than today.

friday, 13 july
the worse day ever. not only unlucky,but also damn...duno how to describe.
are we really not ready? i know we are a disappointing, darn small bunch, it does not mean we can allow ourselves to be humiliated to this extent. my image of you was good since sec 1. but now...i really am speechless. i received accusations&blamings too. it is like as if i muz be always around anytime, anywhere. i go off then u all accuse me...can i for once not be around wen all of u are doing things??? i go for tuition is also called an excuse meh? i told u guys earlier on liao worz...CANT U ALL LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?*cries*damn it! i cant stand this anymore!!! i hate all of you!!!

saturday, 14 july.
went for CRD...met up with lily to go RI...lolz so funny haha...i tot eugene will be late so i call him, only to find out he aledi at RI!!! for once he earlier than me...T_T then we march here and there...blahblah...saw xiao wen and radhiah ma'am...wore that prestigious red belt..HAHAHAHA...and white gloves too....HAHAHA...
so thats abt it...rushed to shu wen hse for project...the two lovebirds keep calling my hp and i duno why since i told them on fri that i will be super late for maths trail meeting le but nevermind that... hehe alvin came down to fetch me to sw's hse since i duno how to go there...XD

THE FINAL PRODUCT OF THE WORKS OF SHU WEN, ALVIN, JESLYNN AND WEN BIN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD *isnt our painting skills good???? muahahahahaha (:
sadded that i cannot capture all our feets too...the one on the bottom left hand corner is shu wen's, the top left hand corner is alvin's and the right side is wen bin's. (:

had a sms-talk with one of my friends lately. and this fren is particularly troubled. these are some parts of the conversation that i rmb he/she told me (i shall not reveal the name, not even the gender)

_____:i dont want anyone else to know le. i want to die.

_____: i feel like committing suicide.

_____: i feel scared.

_____: you know how hard is it to put on a smile in school and pretend everything is ok but im scared that _______has already told _____?

i understand your feelings. i truely do. but i dun wan you to tink like me. you are a young person. dun let it worry you so much. i may not be in a position to tell you this, but please, for MY sake, dun do what will make others cry for you.PLEASE, DONT DO IT. _____, i hope you are reading this. BU YAO ZUO SHA SHI!!!

*PISSED. DISAPPOINTED. STRESSED. my top three favourite words.

*everything which goes wrong is always my fault.

haha i see you so pitiful i dun bully u anymore le wait u hate me summore...XD

i want to have the FREEDOM to express my feelings! please dun feel offended by my most recent post!

you have really gotten me into huge trouble...i will never forgive you!

so SAD lo today gy never cum to sch...haha me and cs miss him so much haha XD..so farni lo mr ng wan make whole class stand up for one whole period coz nothing was on the league of nations wall this morning but we told him that gy not in class so he let us sit down HAHA...
it seems that everytime ms yeo is in the class, my mood will go down and i feel demoralised and i duno why...
anyway after sch today feeling guilty that i did not get the dried leaves for michelle i decided to stay back for the racial harmony noticeboard decoration. although i felt great after helping michelle, i only have this to say after being disappointed again, this time not by my rc people but by 3S5, shockingly enough:

i now F***KINGLY hate ULP, and u noe why??? ALL BECOZ OF THE 4-YEAR PLAN. it took me a whole 24 hrs to do it and then when i wan to hand in on sat morning, RCHQ is CLOSED FOR THE DAY, when the ulp book says it is open on sats from 9 to 12.30.WTF. WASTE MY BLOODY TIME.GRR~~~
haha thx gy for tagging my blog, so rare haha...XD
so rc training on fri was not wat i call exactly fun, especially during the games. i tot since the game was considered fun at cedar girls' and ULP, the game will be fun for FHSRCY itself. i was totally disappointed. hmm, it was my fault for not telling the committe how to play the game, but still..i feel that if at cedar girls', the people play the game until like ki siao, then my juniors shud find it fun. looks like im wrong. the game was all abt having integrity (teaching them the second sch value the fun way XD), and the game will be fun only if they really close their eyes and use their ears and golden mouths to find their kind, but i was terribly disappointed. nevermind. =.=

and getting seriously pissed and irritated with ___ ___ ___. what i write on my blog is none of your business. you are not that mature either. i consider my blog as a diary, so i can write anything i like. if you think you are reading stuff which u feel is considered small matters to you and that im too childish to dwell over it, i never say that you must read right???

to MR _____ ____ ___ ____, im just disappointed that u dun even remember what happened on wednesday that made me so angry with you. i tot im the only one with STM, but nevermind that. if you really have no emotions and feelings for others except for ___ ___ ___, then i can forgive you i guess, since ___ ___ ___ only exist in your world and no one else. (:

when there is too many disappointments in life you will not have that drive to work harder to be better anymore. that's all i have to say.

im blaming no one for what has happened during CME today. fate has made it this way. it is going to happen sooner or later, so now at least i got a heavy weight off my conscious.

updating my news...
currently 3s5 new sitting arrangement is very fine by me, although duno why everyone wan change seat with me??? sitting with gao yan is a new experience haha (: one thing abt my place, it is too "popular", since everytime if i ever leave my seat, the next moment when i cum back sure to have one guy sitting at my seat and i dun like that.
yesterday was the sec 4 prefect exco committee handing over to the new sec 3 prefect exco committee, and im still shocked that jonathan wong is the new head prefect. sadded that chuan heng only vice-head prefect. as for the two 3s5 prefects, michelle is in charge of DISCIPLINE *WOW!!! and alvin is senior prefect. =.= and the speeches they gave are like "recycled" haha XD.
speaking of yesterday, it was a horrible day. first it is not my fault that i didnt noe nivla juz misplaced his $160 watch, and i dun tink he has the right to give me attitude. i was aledi so PISSED with him lo. then pitrie must keep suaning me during assembly when he noes im aledi angry with nivla lo. while everyone else teasing shu wen when he went upstage, pitrie concentrated on suanning me. damn it. then later do the rc programme table in library with leanna and joselin then saw mardi&nada&sy doing graph homework...then i didnt noe HE was cuming into the library but i tink the rest of them saw him lo so want to give me "surprise" by covering my face b4 he cum in, which i didnt apprieciate it. hey guys, maybe u didnt noe that he made me angry in the morning, but i prefer to noe that he is cumin in rather then let him noe that u guys purposely hide my face b4 he came in (i tink he saw the whole thing). but nevermind la. let bygones be bygones ya (:

getting lots of mood swings lately. and more scoldings too. i hate my life now.

yesterday had a fun day, coz me and jose went for amazing cultural race with a few redcross members and 8 scouts from fuhua haha...really had fun running around the city area trying to find the cultural places. i only have tis to say: WOON KIAT is such a GOOD map-reader, much better than the scouts. AND a WARNING to the SEA SCOUTS, especially the FOUR scouts from 3S4: DONT EVER TRY TO PRY WOON KIAT AWAY FROM REDCROSS OKAY?!?! HE BELONGS TO US AND THAT IS THAT!!!

the clouds disperse at times but will come together again soon; this is what life is about. we may be now worlds apart, but why cant we get together again like we were from sec 1? i seriously miss those times when we were good frens. all left behind is just the memories...i want to relieve those memories again...getting to my point, referring to my most recent post, that decision i made and the one word has spoiled our lives forever ever since, and now guiltiness has settled in. i dun want ________to reproach your_______,becoz fate wanted it this way. God may be testing us. we muz think of a solution and solve this problem within ourselves okay? im juz so sorry that all this started becoz of my carelessness and stupidity, and now i have dragged ____________ into tis mess that no one muz noe about, if not everyone will lose their faith&trust in us...


*one more thing, if anyone is reading tis particular part, pls dun pry and ask me anything on tis matter ya? it shud be pretty obvious to some people, but dun ask me anything from me ya? this is a super-de-duper private matter. thanks(: i juz wanna rant out my feelings so that i wun feel so down ya?(:

okay so my 3 juniors went haywire over my chocolates today..all dun wan the fruit and nut chocolates haha...scary man.(: got to go le haha sorry so short post :s
*this current song of mine really suit my feelings now...when can i EVER let go of him and PERMANENTLY remove him from my heart?*

confused thoughts...does it have to end up this way?

things will never be the same again. everyone changes as time flies by.

im real sorry for taking advantage of you...i should have known you better.

thanks to my DEAREST SEC ONE RC JUNIOR, i shall waste about half an hour of my time which can be used to study for emaths test on tues updating my blog *no la kidding only la haha but i really have test on tues... :D

so the highlight of this week is that...
firstly: I GOT SECOND HIGHEST WITH YUN ZHONG FOR HISTORY TEST AND A SWEET A1 FOR GEOGRAPHY TEST!!!!! it has since given me a small ray of hope. the best thing is that i have FINALLY beaten nivla hands down!! VICTORY IS SWEET!
secondly: CINDY, HUILING and NADA GOT 3RD IN WEST DISTRICT FOR CURRENT AFFAIRS COMPETITION!!! okay im so proud of them la, will be getting for them chocolates next week. *following esther ma'am's footsteps XD
thirdly: i got a packet of sweet, jelly-like sweets from esther ma'am for passing my footdrill gold! so nice and yummy! :DDDDD

now the not so good news...
rumours circulating among the sec 3s UG committees that tis year ndp parade (school-based) might be cancelled...hoping that it will not becum a reality...

fridAY started off well, but ended not on a high note. during PE, i ran my shuttle run, and got a timing of 10.3s!!! yipee!!!~after recess was history. since it was filing day, so i became the "puncher girl" for the day. it's like they give me one HUGE pile of history notes to punch then i punch punch punch until my fingers pain...the situation became a bit chaotic though :x...then i duno how, but sumhow jing yi's test paper went missing!!! i was like OMG!?!? how the paper went missing in the classroom!?!? then mr ng make the whole class stand until can find jing yi's paper...the guys (cs, nivla,mr bean) so funny la search thru my TUITION FILE( hello her paper wun be there! ((((:), the english summary worksheets, my homework file too...LOLX, but in the end didnt found lo...then mr ng wrote on the board: the next filing session no one is to borrow jeslynn's hole puncher. i really laughed at that :DDD *sorry to jing yi for indirectly losing ur history test paper!!! D: so then next was amaths. got one of the lowest in class for the test again...luckily i wasnt the only one (surprisingly enough nivla have the same marks as mine...) so ms yeo suan suan suan a lot of people, especially nivla. for once i felt real sorry for him :x *hey nivla dun be disappointed, must buck up! surprise ms yeo this cuming emaths test!!! jiayous!!! so then next was redcross. was feeling pleased that the juniors' drills are improving..so jiayous to the sec 1s yeah? oh ya must thank esther ma'am for training them so well...must learn frm her XD.

today was supposed to be a great day, since it is sunday. but today has been spoilt totally by an INSENSITIVE remark. my day has been ruined. how could u do this to me!?!? how could u be so insensitive to my feelings!?!? u heartless beast! how can i see u in a new light again!?!? *cries* D:

I PASSED FOOTDRILL GOLD!!!!
SHI YUAN AND MARDIANA PASSED EVACUATION BRONZE!!!

*and we are getting chocolates from esther ma'am next friday hahahaha...XD

this few days at the boon lay bus interchange free coke bottles are being given out!!! so cool!!!
and tuesday was a great day...only two people will know why...haha(:

there is rc training tomorrow and im so afraid. ):
i wan go inline skating tomorrow!!!! (:
guilt seems to overwhelm me this few days... ):

it's the slashings and cuttings which gives me the most satisfaction(:
dun try and stop me.(:

i never felt more angry and pissed in my whole life than today.

friday, 13 july
the worse day ever. not only unlucky,but also damn...duno how to describe.
are we really not ready? i know we are a disappointing, darn small bunch, it does not mean we can allow ourselves to be humiliated to this extent. my image of you was good since sec 1. but now...i really am speechless. i received accusations&blamings too. it is like as if i muz be always around anytime, anywhere. i go off then u all accuse me...can i for once not be around wen all of u are doing things??? i go for tuition is also called an excuse meh? i told u guys earlier on liao worz...CANT U ALL LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?*cries*damn it! i cant stand this anymore!!! i hate all of you!!!

saturday, 14 july.
went for CRD...met up with lily to go RI...lolz so funny haha...i tot eugene will be late so i call him, only to find out he aledi at RI!!! for once he earlier than me...T_T then we march here and there...blahblah...saw xiao wen and radhiah ma'am...wore that prestigious red belt..HAHAHAHA...and white gloves too....HAHAHA...
so thats abt it...rushed to shu wen hse for project...the two lovebirds keep calling my hp and i duno why since i told them on fri that i will be super late for maths trail meeting le but nevermind that... hehe alvin came down to fetch me to sw's hse since i duno how to go there...XD

THE FINAL PRODUCT OF THE WORKS OF SHU WEN, ALVIN, JESLYNN AND WEN BIN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD *isnt our painting skills good???? muahahahahaha (:
sadded that i cannot capture all our feets too...the one on the bottom left hand corner is shu wen's, the top left hand corner is alvin's and the right side is wen bin's. (:

had a sms-talk with one of my friends lately. and this fren is particularly troubled. these are some parts of the conversation that i rmb he/she told me (i shall not reveal the name, not even the gender)

_____:i dont want anyone else to know le. i want to die.

_____: i feel like committing suicide.

_____: i feel scared.

_____: you know how hard is it to put on a smile in school and pretend everything is ok but im scared that _______has already told _____?

i understand your feelings. i truely do. but i dun wan you to tink like me. you are a young person. dun let it worry you so much. i may not be in a position to tell you this, but please, for MY sake, dun do what will make others cry for you.PLEASE, DONT DO IT. _____, i hope you are reading this. BU YAO ZUO SHA SHI!!!

*PISSED. DISAPPOINTED. STRESSED. my top three favourite words.

*everything which goes wrong is always my fault.

haha i see you so pitiful i dun bully u anymore le wait u hate me summore...XD

i want to have the FREEDOM to express my feelings! please dun feel offended by my most recent post!

you have really gotten me into huge trouble...i will never forgive you!

so SAD lo today gy never cum to sch...haha me and cs miss him so much haha XD..so farni lo mr ng wan make whole class stand up for one whole period coz nothing was on the league of nations wall this morning but we told him that gy not in class so he let us sit down HAHA...
it seems that everytime ms yeo is in the class, my mood will go down and i feel demoralised and i duno why...
anyway after sch today feeling guilty that i did not get the dried leaves for michelle i decided to stay back for the racial harmony noticeboard decoration. although i felt great after helping michelle, i only have this to say after being disappointed again, this time not by my rc people but by 3S5, shockingly enough:

i now F***KINGLY hate ULP, and u noe why??? ALL BECOZ OF THE 4-YEAR PLAN. it took me a whole 24 hrs to do it and then when i wan to hand in on sat morning, RCHQ is CLOSED FOR THE DAY, when the ulp book says it is open on sats from 9 to 12.30.WTF. WASTE MY BLOODY TIME.GRR~~~
haha thx gy for tagging my blog, so rare haha...XD
so rc training on fri was not wat i call exactly fun, especially during the games. i tot since the game was considered fun at cedar girls' and ULP, the game will be fun for FHSRCY itself. i was totally disappointed. hmm, it was my fault for not telling the committe how to play the game, but still..i feel that if at cedar girls', the people play the game until like ki siao, then my juniors shud find it fun. looks like im wrong. the game was all abt having integrity (teaching them the second sch value the fun way XD), and the game will be fun only if they really close their eyes and use their ears and golden mouths to find their kind, but i was terribly disappointed. nevermind. =.=

and getting seriously pissed and irritated with ___ ___ ___. what i write on my blog is none of your business. you are not that mature either. i consider my blog as a diary, so i can write anything i like. if you think you are reading stuff which u feel is considered small matters to you and that im too childish to dwell over it, i never say that you must read right???

to MR _____ ____ ___ ____, im just disappointed that u dun even remember what happened on wednesday that made me so angry with you. i tot im the only one with STM, but nevermind that. if you really have no emotions and feelings for others except for ___ ___ ___, then i can forgive you i guess, since ___ ___ ___ only exist in your world and no one else. (:

when there is too many disappointments in life you will not have that drive to work harder to be better anymore. that's all i have to say.

im blaming no one for what has happened during CME today. fate has made it this way. it is going to happen sooner or later, so now at least i got a heavy weight off my conscious.

updating my news...
currently 3s5 new sitting arrangement is very fine by me, although duno why everyone wan change seat with me??? sitting with gao yan is a new experience haha (: one thing abt my place, it is too "popular", since everytime if i ever leave my seat, the next moment when i cum back sure to have one guy sitting at my seat and i dun like that.
yesterday was the sec 4 prefect exco committee handing over to the new sec 3 prefect exco committee, and im still shocked that jonathan wong is the new head prefect. sadded that chuan heng only vice-head prefect. as for the two 3s5 prefects, michelle is in charge of DISCIPLINE *WOW!!! and alvin is senior prefect. =.= and the speeches they gave are like "recycled" haha XD.
speaking of yesterday, it was a horrible day. first it is not my fault that i didnt noe nivla juz misplaced his $160 watch, and i dun tink he has the right to give me attitude. i was aledi so PISSED with him lo. then pitrie must keep suaning me during assembly when he noes im aledi angry with nivla lo. while everyone else teasing shu wen when he went upstage, pitrie concentrated on suanning me. damn it. then later do the rc programme table in library with leanna and joselin then saw mardi&nada&sy doing graph homework...then i didnt noe HE was cuming into the library but i tink the rest of them saw him lo so want to give me "surprise" by covering my face b4 he cum in, which i didnt apprieciate it. hey guys, maybe u didnt noe that he made me angry in the morning, but i prefer to noe that he is cumin in rather then let him noe that u guys purposely hide my face b4 he came in (i tink he saw the whole thing). but nevermind la. let bygones be bygones ya (:

getting lots of mood swings lately. and more scoldings too. i hate my life now.

yesterday had a fun day, coz me and jose went for amazing cultural race with a few redcross members and 8 scouts from fuhua haha...really had fun running around the city area trying to find the cultural places. i only have tis to say: WOON KIAT is such a GOOD map-reader, much better than the scouts. AND a WARNING to the SEA SCOUTS, especially the FOUR scouts from 3S4: DONT EVER TRY TO PRY WOON KIAT AWAY FROM REDCROSS OKAY?!?! HE BELONGS TO US AND THAT IS THAT!!!

the clouds disperse at times but will come together again soon; this is what life is about. we may be now worlds apart, but why cant we get together again like we were from sec 1? i seriously miss those times when we were good frens. all left behind is just the memories...i want to relieve those memories again...getting to my point, referring to my most recent post, that decision i made and the one word has spoiled our lives forever ever since, and now guiltiness has settled in. i dun want ________to reproach your_______,becoz fate wanted it this way. God may be testing us. we muz think of a solution and solve this problem within ourselves okay? im juz so sorry that all this started becoz of my carelessness and stupidity, and now i have dragged ____________ into tis mess that no one muz noe about, if not everyone will lose their faith&trust in us...


*one more thing, if anyone is reading tis particular part, pls dun pry and ask me anything on tis matter ya? it shud be pretty obvious to some people, but dun ask me anything from me ya? this is a super-de-duper private matter. thanks(: i juz wanna rant out my feelings so that i wun feel so down ya?(: