ENTRIES ARCHIVES PROFILE AFFILIATES

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"Of the many contradictions that exist in the world, the contrast between love and hate is perhaps the starkest. It is one that helps us value true love while understanding the ramifications of hatred."
desires

"A life without love is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring."
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Sunday, September 16

might be my last post for now until EYE is over...
okay im mighty stressed cans? everyday nothing but MATHS MATHS MATHS. getting so irritated.
whew, no redcross for now until after rc. but life will get more hectic for sure in redcross =.=

i heard sum things frm joselin on fri, and now i duno if i shud trust u or not. u may be lying to me for all i noe. like as if i duno ur character like that. if u have lied to me and i find out, u are so DEAD. get it?

and if u wan to humiliate me in front of others then later pretend to act sorry, well i will not forgive u that easily. u deserve wad others say abt you.
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Wednesday, September 12

had some excitement in 3s5 lately, apparently 4 boiis went to cut NS boiis hairstyle, got a lot of attention frm our teachers, especially ms kwa and mr loh hahahaha(:
EOY cumin, still no motivation sianx...

no matter how much i explain, im either way still in the wrong. even for those few people i confided in, well they consoled me, but behind me, they still say im wrong and they are right. well, i reali duno wad to say le, there is nothing i can do if u guys say im TOTALLY wrong. i admit i am in the wrong, but not totally. but who reali cares to see my point of view? no one in the F**KING world cares. it hurts to sumhow see *her* everyday. i rather stop asking for forgiveness, cos no one ever bothers to listen to me properly. everyone rather listen to the both of them. i realy duno how to carry on with everyone against me. i cant seem to recover frm this harsh lesson. i dun wan to confide in anyone le, cos they dun give a F**KING damn. i rather keep it to myself. CONFIDING SUX, cos no one bothers to listen to 2 sides of the story. oh nevermind, i better not let it affect EOY.
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Sunday, September 9


You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
i really feel so lost now.i feel so angry with myself.everyone doesnt let me have a chance to explain.im trying to set things right again, but you are shutting me off.you are not the only one disappointed in me.i know everyone is.who wont be?im just not cut out for all this.im afraid of this and that,but not hearing out what i really want to say makes me even more demoralised with myself.i really want to learn my lesson from this,but if im not given a second chance,the scars cant heal.
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OKAY.
IM SORRY TO ALL FOR MY EXISTANCE IN THIS WORLD.
IM SORRY IM SUCH A DUMB PERSON.
IM SORRY IM SUCH A STUPID PERSON.
IM SORRY I HAVE SUCH A BIG MOUTH.
IM SORRY FOR BEING SO IDIOTIC.
IM SORRY FOR BEING A BETRAYER.
IM SORRY FOR SPOILING EVERYTHING GOOD WHICH HAPPENED.
IM SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A LOSER.

i noe that the two of you will never accept my apologies, no matter how i beg for your forgiveness. i noe i shudnt have done it. i shall take total blame, cos i never think before i act.
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well yesterday was rather fun giving out brochures...met many INDIANS and poeple frm all walks of life...kai hui was way cute okays hehe....

sianns school starts tmr...EOY cumin...mus gambatte!
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Friday, September 7

hiiees..almost end of holidays le...and physics project not done omg XD

well today training, and im jus glad that the sec 2s have learnt sumthing. but sumone has jus got the big mouh to ______. she is going to get it frm me, i swear.

A BIG THANK YOU TO KRISTIE FOR CHANGING MY BLOGSKIN!!! REALLY LOVE IT!!!

and thanks for sorting everything out with me. glad u understood how i felt. love you(:
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Wednesday, September 5

september in my sec 2 life last year wasnt a very good month.

approaching the first anniversary of my two gud friends' break-up(they were in a relationship,2B06 peeps shud noe), im just happy that they have got on so well with their own lives. im totally full of remorse of my childishness last year. how can anyone be a "matchmaker" at a young age of 14? at least i noe my mistake now, and that TRUE LOVE is formed naturally, NOT through matchmaking. >.<

approaching 27 september...well all i have to say is this was the day when i was having the wrong mind and zero courage to say NO. one small action and the word YES have changed my life ever since. i will always regret this day, for this was the day when the one small action has snowballed into a lifetime of regret...
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i jus cant imagine the days when i have to face you and be hurt again and again by your insensitivity. jus becoz im so different frm u doesnt mean u can push me around like a puppet. dun forget, u have no one on ur boat, but i have 4.

and thanks to the two ma'ams who talked to me ya..i apprieciate it(:

and nivla, do u have to go and tagg his blog!?!?
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Tuesday, September 4

those words you spat out at me have hurt me so much, till my confidence just went bust. to you it is to teach me a lesson, but those few words contain something: daggers, sharp enough to stab my heart. i feel so shaken.
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Sunday, September 2

i simply hate my big mouth. why mus i go tell him all those things!?!? now that he knows, im running a high risk of ____ screaming at me or suaning me even more than usual tmr or in term 4. i really hope _____ dun go and tell ____ or _____, if not im so dead. i never felt more guilty in my whole life than last night. ____ is like my enemy and i like jus "betrayed" ____, im SO dead...
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Saturday, September 1

can running away be the only solution to this problem? time will tell. i can only ward you off for now, but i dunno how long it can last. i can foresee a showdown approaching, it's jus a matter of time. when that time comes, it wud be jus you and me, no one else. who loses, who wins, it doesnt matter, for only GOD knows who is thinking right, right from the start. i can only hope that whoever loses, the person will not suffer frm the showdown's after-effects, but have a change of character (for the better) and move on, learning frm the numerous mistakes made and not commiting them again. i wish to have my bravery to face you at the showdown and not to run away again, for i only have this one and only chance to do it.

*this is not jus any extract frm harry potter and the deathly hallows, although i got the inspiration frm the book. it relates to wad is going on in my life which seems so wrong to me. so dun bother to ask me wad is it, and i believe only three people, if they ever read this, will noe wad im toking about XD

*hahas thanks alvin for telling me u misunderstood my statement in my recent post. if not i wun noe wad i have done to wrong you when sch reopens and see u cold-shouldering me again -.-