ages since i posted):
ANNOUNCEMENT: REDCROSS BLOG IS UP UP UP!!!!! PLEASE LINK IT YEAH(:

http://www.fhrcy-truespirits.blogspot.com/

well, wednesday's current affairs competition was crap lor, out of the top 8 teams going to second round, 4 teams consist of river valley pple. grr. but fuhua got one team got in, which is MY TEAM? LOL. tomorrow is second round, it's like an amazing race round singapore's places of interests.
we ate a lot at reception, thanks to mr ng who told us to eat more de =.=, then after briefing of second round finish le then the club pple can eat. benson and i were OMG, we ate so much le LOL.
going back home, thanks to that DANGEROUS JIANYANG playing with the souvenier frm the club pple, i was nicknamed "first aider" all the way home =.=
and i miss benson =.=
sneak back for fdc training yesterday, was quite a fulfilling and fun one, though i didnt managed to stay for the whole training): jus sooooooooo happy to do footdrill yesterday, and really need to brush up on my drills like the sec 1s, cos it is so rusty. i may be able to listen to commands properly, but my drills are so rusty, my legs and arms are aching today. see how rusty i am :x
well wad i wan to say for yesterday's training is all in fhrcy blog(:
i was quite pissed over a sms i received. i cant believe she is such a scaredy-cat. i will not blame her senior for passing that depressing message to miie, she is jus doing her job. but seriously, if u want to do that, u better tell me PERSONALLY.

maybe it wasnt such a gud idea to go for fdc training, cos i felt even worse. it's like...im half in and half out. there seems to be an invisible wall between me and the squad. although i seem to be a part of them, but i dun really belong. mum told me to tell the YOs and VIs that if i want to join fdc, i have to be top 10 in sch. so obviously it cannot be obtained rite, since my results is so cham): i really really really really really want to be in FDC!!!! but how?

two videos which interest me..
this one reminds me of 2B06, bringing back the fond memories of the crazy and noisy 2B06(:
even though it was so long ago(:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeOhrhEQyeU

this one will interest Joanne Ma'am i think..im shocked cans? the worst i have done was a video taken of me and a guy arm-wrestling which was nearly published on youtube..but she arh..=.=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GHnd_CNh2U

i dun want to give up my dream of joining FDC'08. but it seems that my studies have suddenly become an obstacle to my dream. the unfairness of it all.im ready to give my all if i join FDC'08, but with my mum placing my studies as a barricade on the road of success of FDC'08, when i havent even started the journey of hard work and sweat, do i even have a chance to break down that barricade?

anyway fhrcy pple! i want to create a blog to put training postings or anything related to redcross, but i need ur ideas on what blog address to put!

1. fhrcy-forever.blogspot.com
2. fuhua-redcrossyouth.blogspot.com
3. unitedwestand-fhrcy.blogspot.com
4. helpwithahand-servewithaheart-fhrcy.blogspot.com
5. fhrcy-truespirits.blogspot.com (currently the one that is being favoured the most)
6. fighters-fhrcy.blogspot.com
7. fighters-unitedheroes-uniqueacers.blogspot.com
8. fightingheroes-redcrossyouth.blogspot.com
9. rainbowish-fhrcy.blogspot.com

jus sms me or tag me or msn me which of these choices u lyk, but it wud be great if u can contribute ideas too!!! help out okay? pass this message to everyone! thanks(:

well, today all my fish i caught from open house died T_T, then so cute, when i poured away the tank water into the toilet bowl, i saw a small fry swimming in it! poor thing, when it is born it has to live in a toilet bowl =.=
and i finally cleared out my room!!! now it is so clean! hehe now mum can vacuum my room le(:

and i really want to want to join FDC, but my mum really dun wan me to join. im really sandwiched in between le. should i try to sneak back for some trainings and disobey my mum, or shud i dun join but really regret it? im so confused): can someone give me enlightenment? i so badly so badly so badly want to join FDC!!! i aledi came up with 6 slogans le, i dun wan to give up like that! but with my mum seriously not letting me join, all my efforts are going down the drain T_T HELP!!!

suddenly, i feel like killing myself and slashing myself more than before. i just feel so self-defeating, self-destructing, self-doubtful, self-inflicting.

training in full uniform was fun (!!!) plus im dying to do footdrill, so yeah, was pretty pleased to be doing footdrill again.
please dun need to hope i can be there forever, cos i can only come during holidays, after that it will be hard for me to come le when sch reopens, so yeah, dun pin too much hopes on me. i will try to help out as much as possible without my mum knowing. well i better tell her this the next trng.
and i LOVE slogans now cans(: i came up with 3 le!! hope to come up with more!!! raarrh!!!

shuen: we are not angry with you.. if you think that we are, then we will... you ask from us trust... yet, we dont receive it from you, when u kept asking jose why is she angry...

firstly, what i want to say is, i want to start all over again. i want to retrust all of you again. but what i really wish for is..AN OPEN COMMUNICATION. i dun keep asking joselin why is she angry for nothing. everything i do will always have a meaning behind it, although sometimes they are hidden ones. i do it becos i want an open communication, not becos i dun trust her. i trust her, i know why is she angry, but i want her to tell me openly, not keep it inside her.

omg omg omg i had my haircut i had my haircut i had my haircut. im shocked beyond words over the outcome. my mum says it's nice..like omg!?!?she seriously needs to go have an eye check (no offence mum!). one thing's for sure, if tomorrow esther ma'am or yi xuan ma'am is going to complain about not putting hair wax on my hair so that my hair wun fly out of my hairnet in bits and pieces, im gonna scream. roars:).seriously. luckily it's onli november, so i have no worries that "the-guy-who-think-he-grow-up-le-and-likes-to-show-off-his-height" will see me in the holis. my hair will be okay by january hooray!

christmas is coming i cant wait:)

yesterday was okay, finally it happened! im so happy that they woke up le!
but in the afternoon, i was pissed, really pissed. where's the trust? i made the effort to come back, and i see those faces, im just disappointed.
ya so finish the cleaning up of redcross room, now looks okay, but we still got the tents argh!

and i tried asking yesterday, but i got no answer. how do u expect me to help you if i duno why are you so angry?
and what i did yesterday, i see nothing wrong, although i dun need that information to be advertised again, like what happened to me on second day morning in camp. i dun wan so many pple to know about it, cos i dun wan to feel the guilt again. especially HIM, the three SHES (all ma'ams), and him(sir)



i wonder when is she going to send the camp report and camp appraisal..

well, i admit im becoming more hurt as the hours go by, becos of those few sentences. my hatred is building up slowly. my determination level has dropped, thanks to you. but im NOT GONNA CARE. im gonna hang on, be the lone domino(equals to committee) standing.

go to http://www.freerice.com/, very cool website! good for pple like alvin who wants to show off his vocab level to miie >.<

*forgiveness is so hard to obtain, once you do anything wrong. so wad i did was wrong? wad i did is all my fault? so i cant be given another chance? i want to change but u i cant change? if i dun change, wad will i get? SCOLDINGS. do you understand wad im going through? do you understand my intentions? do you understand how much damage im trying to block all of you from that bloody blog? im sorry that i have to disappoint everyone and go through all this again. im really sorry. but i dont have a choice. i dont wan to give in anymore. i dont wan to succumb to pressure. but do i have a choice not to do so? NO. so what do you all expect miie to do? one moment, COMMAND AND CONTROL. next moment, i get accused and im not given a chance to explain. is it fair to miie? i dun want to give up, but the circumstances are forcing me to. i want to stay strong,but you are not giving me any base to put my feet on and do so. i dun scold, i get more and worse scoldings. i scold, i get all the bu shuang looks. im sandwiched in between. i have no more roads to turn to; i can only walk on a road which leads to the edge of the cliff.

read some blogs, well i admit i was upset over some of the posts for one of them. im clear that we are ___ _________, but the way you put it..i know you r super disappointed with us, but if anymore of my committee members see those posts, well, they are going to be even more demoralised than before, i can tell you. im trying to stay strong and make sure im the domino who will not topple down when the rest has toppled, but i dun wan to be shouldering all the responsibilities and troubles like before. so please, think before you type. i will forgive you for typing those facts, but...it's too crude, even to miie. even if it onli hurts me a little, im sure it will affect the rest of the committee's morale.

*to . : if u duno wad im toking about, or if u duno me well, please DO NOT talk rot on my tagboard. i dun wan anymore types of pollution appearing. it's aledi bad enough that there is water, land and air pollution, please do not cause tagboard pollution too! please clean up the pollution u left behind in my tagboard by stating who u r! be a gud citizen! thank you!

well, redcross camp is finally over.
im sorry to make everyone worry for me on wednesday morning. it's my fault that i did not hydrate myself, not eating well, not sleeping well and stressing myself so much till i reached the full bursting point.
im sorry for repaying all my seniors' kindness in such a bad way.
im sorry for all the disappointments, anger and frustrations i have created.

but i have definitely learnt quite a few lessons from this camp, like: COMMAND AND CONTROL, ONE PERSON DOES NOT EQUATE TO THE WHOLE COMMITTEE, DONT ANYHOW WHACK.

but i have the determination to change things in redcross, no matter what comes my way. the process may be painfully slow, but slow and steady wins the race, i dun believe i cant do it. taking the first small step is the way to success!

so a BIG THANK YOU too all seniors who has helped out in one way or another, especially to YI XUAN MA'AM, CONNIE MA'AM and ZHI QIAN SIR. i believe we have learnt much from all ur advice and scoldings.

to juniors, we hoped you have learnt much from this camp, and will apply it to ur furthur lives, not just in redcross(:

im crying so silently in full guilt, coz i cud see the total disappointment in their faces):

tomorrow is redcross camp for the next 3 days, wish me luck!

i felt breathless and tio stunned today in the morning. i duno if im in the wrong.

today, fuhua open house, was way tiring, although i caught 6 fish hehe(: is like in one minute must try to catch as many LIVE fish as possible using a spoon. my first try i caught 3 LIVE fish!!! hahahahaha(: i won the scout guy who caught only 2! they impressed seh haha(: then later on i had another go and i caught onli one, but they give me 2 free(: then later cherminn gave me a whole packet of fish, saying she no space to keep them..LOL.
something funny happened durin open house though. and ZHI QIAN SIR, if u ever see my blog, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BULLY MY JUNIORS OKAY!?! THEY ARE MY JEWELS(: *especially dun ever bully kristie anymore okay.
and nada and siti, if u ever see my blog, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I ONLY WENT OUT TO BUY LUNCH WITH ZHI QIAN SIR, NOT GO ON A DATE WITH HIM OKIE!?!?
wish i got watch the NCC drummers, they sounded very professional. and it brought back bad memories of wad happened last year's open house):
AND I WANT BALLOONS!!!!!!!


and im F**KINGLY PISSED off by YOU. can you at least PLEASE tell me WHAT have i done WRONG before AVOIDING me like im some kind of SHIT? im here trying to treat you like i did in sec 2 and you are not giving me a chance to prove to myself that i can forget you.

nearly died today, even though it's the last day of headstart. dun think i need to mention why. and i guess shaking my head to remove all those evil thoughts can be a very bad idea.

if you let the roots grow deeper, it will be harder to uproot the tree.
EXPLANATION: im the soil, nivla is the tree, the roots are ____.
i dun wan it to grow deeper, if not it will be hard to remove him from my system. but JEALOUSLY is watering the tree, making the tree grow up, and making the roots grow deeper into my soul):

today plenty of pple never cum for headstart, made mr loh and ms yeo have headache, becos cannot teach. and ms yeo told us a lot of stuff today, and some of them is rather meaningful to me...

1. if your character change for the worse after the failure of a relationship, this shows that your heart has full of bitterness. you have also not learnt that you should let go. this shows that the relationship is a failure. only if you let time heal the sadness of a failed relationship, then you can say the relationship is a successful one.
2. why would you want to go into a relationship so early? dont you think you should save the best for your man of your dreams? imagine that you will be marrying a man next time and you will be thinking: maybe he is not my man, cos i have done this or that with a guy when i was younger. how sad is that? *this statement is of much significance to me though.
3. when problems come by, be happy about it! why? because you will use your brain to think of solutions. and these are learning points of your life.

and today just becos i rushing to hand in maths homework to ms yeo, then i was panting away when i gave to her, then she suan wo in class. she say: "i wanted to ask you whether you giving birth cos ur breathing so laboured". DIAO.

redcross training. SO HAPPY CONNIE MA'AM CAME BACK!!! she same everything though. totally never change face or anything. and all i have to say for today's training is: just that everything seem to be so last minute. well if im getting all the blame, i also find it hard to tell anyone anyway.
and my footdrill is super rusty :x

FRIDAY LAST DAY OF HEADSTART HOORAYYY!!!!!!

and...i have the feeling you are avoiding me...i dun have much to say anymore.*cry*
ah fag.
i cry silently, i cry inside of me....but who bothers?

today had emaths retest, was rather okay(:

and luckily i got do my homework, if not sure kena punished by miss yeo de haha(:



and im so dead cans? why the dates kena pushed forward? my stress level is rising again.



and today i noticed im happier than any other days. why? cos one of them is not in class for a valid reason. im sick with myself cans. is forgetting much harder than i really thought it was? why cant my jealously level drop even jus a little? why cant i act normally when they are around?

saturday was fun! went to sentosa for family day. morning was kinda of boring, except for some funny moments (a man have to spell a word using his butt!) and an interesting game which we have to guess the advertisements just by hearing the music. some people is just so kiasu, aledi take the prize one time le still go up second time. greedy seh.

afternoon was more fun after lunch (was delicious cos it was KFC). cos i got one free coupon to go ride the chairlift and the Luge F.O.C!!!! i wanna go on it again (although the wait was horrible)!!! so fun!!! but so ex, it is $9 lor):

later went to the merlion, was interesting(:

after that, i went swimming with dad. then we went for dinner, and then home sweet home(:



and im being stressed again and again. im so troubled by all this that is going on. why mus all this crap be happening. i do not wan our relationship to be so fragile.

and the reason for my moodiness today...partly cos of the rain, also partly becos of the talk we had last nite. im still confused, but i have this to say: im the cursed one. i jus duno....wad i want. and i saw something again which hurt me a great deal, just that i try not to tell _____. when will mu jealously level ever disappear? if it ever disappears, that will be the day when i will experience true happiness. and that day is far far away...):

some videos for entertainment...

The time when shi yuan, mardiana and i went for accreditation...the school got piano so shi yuan taught me a piano piece which i have been dying to learn(:

crapping at the library on one of our outings...haha(:

crapped more...with sweets this time(:

uploading more later, going for family day at sentosa...

actually today supposed to go to pasir ris park with other redcross units to clean beach de, I WANNA SEE SYAFINAH AND JASPER WAHHHHHHHH):

*added on at 10.20pm: "i help u to _____, and now you talk to me in this manner. very nice of you hor." (LOADS of SACARSM in it)

i guess i can never be happy again. with all the hurt im receiving this few days, and all the nonsense im getting, and all the results im getting, when can i ever get back the smile i once used to have? im giving up, and soon.

ages since i posted):
ANNOUNCEMENT: REDCROSS BLOG IS UP UP UP!!!!! PLEASE LINK IT YEAH(:

http://www.fhrcy-truespirits.blogspot.com/

well, wednesday's current affairs competition was crap lor, out of the top 8 teams going to second round, 4 teams consist of river valley pple. grr. but fuhua got one team got in, which is MY TEAM? LOL. tomorrow is second round, it's like an amazing race round singapore's places of interests.
we ate a lot at reception, thanks to mr ng who told us to eat more de =.=, then after briefing of second round finish le then the club pple can eat. benson and i were OMG, we ate so much le LOL.
going back home, thanks to that DANGEROUS JIANYANG playing with the souvenier frm the club pple, i was nicknamed "first aider" all the way home =.=
and i miss benson =.=
sneak back for fdc training yesterday, was quite a fulfilling and fun one, though i didnt managed to stay for the whole training): jus sooooooooo happy to do footdrill yesterday, and really need to brush up on my drills like the sec 1s, cos it is so rusty. i may be able to listen to commands properly, but my drills are so rusty, my legs and arms are aching today. see how rusty i am :x
well wad i wan to say for yesterday's training is all in fhrcy blog(:
i was quite pissed over a sms i received. i cant believe she is such a scaredy-cat. i will not blame her senior for passing that depressing message to miie, she is jus doing her job. but seriously, if u want to do that, u better tell me PERSONALLY.

maybe it wasnt such a gud idea to go for fdc training, cos i felt even worse. it's like...im half in and half out. there seems to be an invisible wall between me and the squad. although i seem to be a part of them, but i dun really belong. mum told me to tell the YOs and VIs that if i want to join fdc, i have to be top 10 in sch. so obviously it cannot be obtained rite, since my results is so cham): i really really really really really want to be in FDC!!!! but how?

two videos which interest me..
this one reminds me of 2B06, bringing back the fond memories of the crazy and noisy 2B06(:
even though it was so long ago(:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeOhrhEQyeU

this one will interest Joanne Ma'am i think..im shocked cans? the worst i have done was a video taken of me and a guy arm-wrestling which was nearly published on youtube..but she arh..=.=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GHnd_CNh2U

i dun want to give up my dream of joining FDC'08. but it seems that my studies have suddenly become an obstacle to my dream. the unfairness of it all.im ready to give my all if i join FDC'08, but with my mum placing my studies as a barricade on the road of success of FDC'08, when i havent even started the journey of hard work and sweat, do i even have a chance to break down that barricade?

anyway fhrcy pple! i want to create a blog to put training postings or anything related to redcross, but i need ur ideas on what blog address to put!

1. fhrcy-forever.blogspot.com
2. fuhua-redcrossyouth.blogspot.com
3. unitedwestand-fhrcy.blogspot.com
4. helpwithahand-servewithaheart-fhrcy.blogspot.com
5. fhrcy-truespirits.blogspot.com (currently the one that is being favoured the most)
6. fighters-fhrcy.blogspot.com
7. fighters-unitedheroes-uniqueacers.blogspot.com
8. fightingheroes-redcrossyouth.blogspot.com
9. rainbowish-fhrcy.blogspot.com

jus sms me or tag me or msn me which of these choices u lyk, but it wud be great if u can contribute ideas too!!! help out okay? pass this message to everyone! thanks(:

well, today all my fish i caught from open house died T_T, then so cute, when i poured away the tank water into the toilet bowl, i saw a small fry swimming in it! poor thing, when it is born it has to live in a toilet bowl =.=
and i finally cleared out my room!!! now it is so clean! hehe now mum can vacuum my room le(:

and i really want to want to join FDC, but my mum really dun wan me to join. im really sandwiched in between le. should i try to sneak back for some trainings and disobey my mum, or shud i dun join but really regret it? im so confused): can someone give me enlightenment? i so badly so badly so badly want to join FDC!!! i aledi came up with 6 slogans le, i dun wan to give up like that! but with my mum seriously not letting me join, all my efforts are going down the drain T_T HELP!!!

suddenly, i feel like killing myself and slashing myself more than before. i just feel so self-defeating, self-destructing, self-doubtful, self-inflicting.

training in full uniform was fun (!!!) plus im dying to do footdrill, so yeah, was pretty pleased to be doing footdrill again.
please dun need to hope i can be there forever, cos i can only come during holidays, after that it will be hard for me to come le when sch reopens, so yeah, dun pin too much hopes on me. i will try to help out as much as possible without my mum knowing. well i better tell her this the next trng.
and i LOVE slogans now cans(: i came up with 3 le!! hope to come up with more!!! raarrh!!!

shuen: we are not angry with you.. if you think that we are, then we will... you ask from us trust... yet, we dont receive it from you, when u kept asking jose why is she angry...

firstly, what i want to say is, i want to start all over again. i want to retrust all of you again. but what i really wish for is..AN OPEN COMMUNICATION. i dun keep asking joselin why is she angry for nothing. everything i do will always have a meaning behind it, although sometimes they are hidden ones. i do it becos i want an open communication, not becos i dun trust her. i trust her, i know why is she angry, but i want her to tell me openly, not keep it inside her.

omg omg omg i had my haircut i had my haircut i had my haircut. im shocked beyond words over the outcome. my mum says it's nice..like omg!?!?she seriously needs to go have an eye check (no offence mum!). one thing's for sure, if tomorrow esther ma'am or yi xuan ma'am is going to complain about not putting hair wax on my hair so that my hair wun fly out of my hairnet in bits and pieces, im gonna scream. roars:).seriously. luckily it's onli november, so i have no worries that "the-guy-who-think-he-grow-up-le-and-likes-to-show-off-his-height" will see me in the holis. my hair will be okay by january hooray!

christmas is coming i cant wait:)

yesterday was okay, finally it happened! im so happy that they woke up le!
but in the afternoon, i was pissed, really pissed. where's the trust? i made the effort to come back, and i see those faces, im just disappointed.
ya so finish the cleaning up of redcross room, now looks okay, but we still got the tents argh!

and i tried asking yesterday, but i got no answer. how do u expect me to help you if i duno why are you so angry?
and what i did yesterday, i see nothing wrong, although i dun need that information to be advertised again, like what happened to me on second day morning in camp. i dun wan so many pple to know about it, cos i dun wan to feel the guilt again. especially HIM, the three SHES (all ma'ams), and him(sir)



i wonder when is she going to send the camp report and camp appraisal..

well, i admit im becoming more hurt as the hours go by, becos of those few sentences. my hatred is building up slowly. my determination level has dropped, thanks to you. but im NOT GONNA CARE. im gonna hang on, be the lone domino(equals to committee) standing.

go to http://www.freerice.com/, very cool website! good for pple like alvin who wants to show off his vocab level to miie >.<

*forgiveness is so hard to obtain, once you do anything wrong. so wad i did was wrong? wad i did is all my fault? so i cant be given another chance? i want to change but u i cant change? if i dun change, wad will i get? SCOLDINGS. do you understand wad im going through? do you understand my intentions? do you understand how much damage im trying to block all of you from that bloody blog? im sorry that i have to disappoint everyone and go through all this again. im really sorry. but i dont have a choice. i dont wan to give in anymore. i dont wan to succumb to pressure. but do i have a choice not to do so? NO. so what do you all expect miie to do? one moment, COMMAND AND CONTROL. next moment, i get accused and im not given a chance to explain. is it fair to miie? i dun want to give up, but the circumstances are forcing me to. i want to stay strong,but you are not giving me any base to put my feet on and do so. i dun scold, i get more and worse scoldings. i scold, i get all the bu shuang looks. im sandwiched in between. i have no more roads to turn to; i can only walk on a road which leads to the edge of the cliff.

read some blogs, well i admit i was upset over some of the posts for one of them. im clear that we are ___ _________, but the way you put it..i know you r super disappointed with us, but if anymore of my committee members see those posts, well, they are going to be even more demoralised than before, i can tell you. im trying to stay strong and make sure im the domino who will not topple down when the rest has toppled, but i dun wan to be shouldering all the responsibilities and troubles like before. so please, think before you type. i will forgive you for typing those facts, but...it's too crude, even to miie. even if it onli hurts me a little, im sure it will affect the rest of the committee's morale.

*to . : if u duno wad im toking about, or if u duno me well, please DO NOT talk rot on my tagboard. i dun wan anymore types of pollution appearing. it's aledi bad enough that there is water, land and air pollution, please do not cause tagboard pollution too! please clean up the pollution u left behind in my tagboard by stating who u r! be a gud citizen! thank you!

well, redcross camp is finally over.
im sorry to make everyone worry for me on wednesday morning. it's my fault that i did not hydrate myself, not eating well, not sleeping well and stressing myself so much till i reached the full bursting point.
im sorry for repaying all my seniors' kindness in such a bad way.
im sorry for all the disappointments, anger and frustrations i have created.

but i have definitely learnt quite a few lessons from this camp, like: COMMAND AND CONTROL, ONE PERSON DOES NOT EQUATE TO THE WHOLE COMMITTEE, DONT ANYHOW WHACK.

but i have the determination to change things in redcross, no matter what comes my way. the process may be painfully slow, but slow and steady wins the race, i dun believe i cant do it. taking the first small step is the way to success!

so a BIG THANK YOU too all seniors who has helped out in one way or another, especially to YI XUAN MA'AM, CONNIE MA'AM and ZHI QIAN SIR. i believe we have learnt much from all ur advice and scoldings.

to juniors, we hoped you have learnt much from this camp, and will apply it to ur furthur lives, not just in redcross(:

im crying so silently in full guilt, coz i cud see the total disappointment in their faces):

tomorrow is redcross camp for the next 3 days, wish me luck!

i felt breathless and tio stunned today in the morning. i duno if im in the wrong.

today, fuhua open house, was way tiring, although i caught 6 fish hehe(: is like in one minute must try to catch as many LIVE fish as possible using a spoon. my first try i caught 3 LIVE fish!!! hahahahaha(: i won the scout guy who caught only 2! they impressed seh haha(: then later on i had another go and i caught onli one, but they give me 2 free(: then later cherminn gave me a whole packet of fish, saying she no space to keep them..LOL.
something funny happened durin open house though. and ZHI QIAN SIR, if u ever see my blog, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BULLY MY JUNIORS OKAY!?! THEY ARE MY JEWELS(: *especially dun ever bully kristie anymore okay.
and nada and siti, if u ever see my blog, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I ONLY WENT OUT TO BUY LUNCH WITH ZHI QIAN SIR, NOT GO ON A DATE WITH HIM OKIE!?!?
wish i got watch the NCC drummers, they sounded very professional. and it brought back bad memories of wad happened last year's open house):
AND I WANT BALLOONS!!!!!!!


and im F**KINGLY PISSED off by YOU. can you at least PLEASE tell me WHAT have i done WRONG before AVOIDING me like im some kind of SHIT? im here trying to treat you like i did in sec 2 and you are not giving me a chance to prove to myself that i can forget you.

nearly died today, even though it's the last day of headstart. dun think i need to mention why. and i guess shaking my head to remove all those evil thoughts can be a very bad idea.

if you let the roots grow deeper, it will be harder to uproot the tree.
EXPLANATION: im the soil, nivla is the tree, the roots are ____.
i dun wan it to grow deeper, if not it will be hard to remove him from my system. but JEALOUSLY is watering the tree, making the tree grow up, and making the roots grow deeper into my soul):

today plenty of pple never cum for headstart, made mr loh and ms yeo have headache, becos cannot teach. and ms yeo told us a lot of stuff today, and some of them is rather meaningful to me...

1. if your character change for the worse after the failure of a relationship, this shows that your heart has full of bitterness. you have also not learnt that you should let go. this shows that the relationship is a failure. only if you let time heal the sadness of a failed relationship, then you can say the relationship is a successful one.
2. why would you want to go into a relationship so early? dont you think you should save the best for your man of your dreams? imagine that you will be marrying a man next time and you will be thinking: maybe he is not my man, cos i have done this or that with a guy when i was younger. how sad is that? *this statement is of much significance to me though.
3. when problems come by, be happy about it! why? because you will use your brain to think of solutions. and these are learning points of your life.

and today just becos i rushing to hand in maths homework to ms yeo, then i was panting away when i gave to her, then she suan wo in class. she say: "i wanted to ask you whether you giving birth cos ur breathing so laboured". DIAO.

redcross training. SO HAPPY CONNIE MA'AM CAME BACK!!! she same everything though. totally never change face or anything. and all i have to say for today's training is: just that everything seem to be so last minute. well if im getting all the blame, i also find it hard to tell anyone anyway.
and my footdrill is super rusty :x

FRIDAY LAST DAY OF HEADSTART HOORAYYY!!!!!!

and...i have the feeling you are avoiding me...i dun have much to say anymore.*cry*
ah fag.
i cry silently, i cry inside of me....but who bothers?

today had emaths retest, was rather okay(:

and luckily i got do my homework, if not sure kena punished by miss yeo de haha(:



and im so dead cans? why the dates kena pushed forward? my stress level is rising again.



and today i noticed im happier than any other days. why? cos one of them is not in class for a valid reason. im sick with myself cans. is forgetting much harder than i really thought it was? why cant my jealously level drop even jus a little? why cant i act normally when they are around?

saturday was fun! went to sentosa for family day. morning was kinda of boring, except for some funny moments (a man have to spell a word using his butt!) and an interesting game which we have to guess the advertisements just by hearing the music. some people is just so kiasu, aledi take the prize one time le still go up second time. greedy seh.

afternoon was more fun after lunch (was delicious cos it was KFC). cos i got one free coupon to go ride the chairlift and the Luge F.O.C!!!! i wanna go on it again (although the wait was horrible)!!! so fun!!! but so ex, it is $9 lor):

later went to the merlion, was interesting(:

after that, i went swimming with dad. then we went for dinner, and then home sweet home(:



and im being stressed again and again. im so troubled by all this that is going on. why mus all this crap be happening. i do not wan our relationship to be so fragile.

and the reason for my moodiness today...partly cos of the rain, also partly becos of the talk we had last nite. im still confused, but i have this to say: im the cursed one. i jus duno....wad i want. and i saw something again which hurt me a great deal, just that i try not to tell _____. when will mu jealously level ever disappear? if it ever disappears, that will be the day when i will experience true happiness. and that day is far far away...):

some videos for entertainment...

The time when shi yuan, mardiana and i went for accreditation...the school got piano so shi yuan taught me a piano piece which i have been dying to learn(:

crapping at the library on one of our outings...haha(:

crapped more...with sweets this time(:

uploading more later, going for family day at sentosa...

actually today supposed to go to pasir ris park with other redcross units to clean beach de, I WANNA SEE SYAFINAH AND JASPER WAHHHHHHHH):

*added on at 10.20pm: "i help u to _____, and now you talk to me in this manner. very nice of you hor." (LOADS of SACARSM in it)

i guess i can never be happy again. with all the hurt im receiving this few days, and all the nonsense im getting, and all the results im getting, when can i ever get back the smile i once used to have? im giving up, and soon.