Well well, I finally finished ALL my filing for every single subject from J1 to J2.
For once, I'm extremely pleased and proud of myself.
Now, I found the motivation to start studying hooray!

Time for some serious work to get done.

Yes, I feel like a failure.
No, I'm better than I think.

Suddenly, I find my recent posts don't make much sense anymore.
Well, isn't my blog a mirror image of me?

I really studied this time, and this is what I get.
I tried my hardest to use the technique, and this is what I get.

I feel so lost.

Damn.

I just need to cry now, before I plaster up a smile for Drama farewell BBQ later (actually I'm late already XD).

& then cry some more later.

Gosh, maybe I should just drop out of school now.

[edit]
There, I'm officially out of EDS, for good.
BBQ was awesome, & I got a chance to display my "paparazzi" skills! :D
The feeling when I handed over the key to the J1s was a sort of liberation.
& now it's just me and studies, a 5 month dating session (ewwwww).
But when I think about GP today, I really wonder how do I move on at all....

No more RCY.
Some more tuition.
Late nights.
Coffee.
Macdonalds/Library.
Papers, books and whatever nonsense related to mugging.

HOW HOW HOW? HOW MUCH AMOUNT OF PUSHING DO I HAVE TO DO TO DO WELL?

It has been rather peaceful I guess?
Study period during CT period plus no drama were bonuses for the day.

Although there's this certain girl who is irritating me off like totally.
Come on. Be more responsible for what you miss. Like make an effort to ask me what have you missed for the lessons. How do you expect me to remember EVERYTHING? Who do you think I am, your personal diary?

A school event is only beneficial if the whole student body can bond together as one united family. If one is forced to go for a particular event, do you think the person can enjoy the event, no matter how fun it is?

This Saturday; it's a celebration of the school's past achievements, both students and teachers alike. No doubt, I'm happy & proud of the school's successes. But do I have to be there in person to show my pride for the school? I don't think so. Seating through 2 hours of clapping for people whom I don't even recognise by face, people receiving awards on behalf of their CCA, people getting academic awards & external individual achievements...is so not worthy of my time at all.

For those receiving academic awards or individual awards for winning competitions, I sincerely congratulate you. But why do I care what achievements the respective CCAs has made? If teachers are being promoted on that day as well, all the more the reason I shouldn't be going; it does not concern me in the SLIGHTEST bit if they are promoted.

not like there will be improvements from them anyway.

So basically, the majority of this event is a total waste of my time. It's not that I like kicking up a big fuss over the issue of being forced to go, but seriously, what's new? I don't benefit from knowing which CCAs had improved, which teacher has been promoted, and clapping STUPIDLY for unfamiliar faces.

What kind of "Freedom Of Choice" is this?

2 more tiring weeks of school.
1 or 2 more sessions till I'm over and done with EDS forever.

The end of term 2; the end of everything EXCEPT studies.

"I wasn't sure what I was doing, to tell someone in his clique, about all his bad traits. I know that the someone won't tell him about what I said, but am I putting myself in a bad light instead?"

"To forgive and forget is no simple process."

"To see his back view, pains me."

"Today, so many revelations, so many truths unraveled. I feel so lost, because so many thoughts are running through my head."

"How do I feel at peace with myself, when I can't remove that permanent dislike for him? I'm only at the losing end."

"我真的很想哭。。。可是，又没有泪水， 怎么哭出全部的痛苦，烦恼，伤心呢？我好累。。。"

Out of 6, 4 is about him.
Please, just kill me. I shouldn't be thinking about this whenever I'm mugging.

Some guys just suck to the core.

Well, maybe the ones in my class.

Thank goodness I know boys which are so much better, even the ex-SJI one.

I have never been better.
So much has happened.

But there's no need to rake up the past, not when April has been the worse month so far. Not going to elaborate any furthur; it's a month which I prefer not to reminisce at all.

So well, may I say that SYF finished 2 days ago, & I'm finally free to start mugging! OH MY I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS DAY TO FOCUS FULLY ON MY STUDIES, AND HANG OUT WITH HENGLI, SANGEETA & BERTRAM AFTER SCHOOL.

I have a simple aim for MYE, & that is to be on par or beat that ex-SJI boy. I need to do myself some justice, give myself confidence for prelims, & not end up in the wrong banding groups in Term 3.

GOGOGO :)

Well well, I finally finished ALL my filing for every single subject from J1 to J2.
For once, I'm extremely pleased and proud of myself.
Now, I found the motivation to start studying hooray!

Time for some serious work to get done.

Yes, I feel like a failure.
No, I'm better than I think.

Suddenly, I find my recent posts don't make much sense anymore.
Well, isn't my blog a mirror image of me?

I really studied this time, and this is what I get.
I tried my hardest to use the technique, and this is what I get.

I feel so lost.

Damn.

I just need to cry now, before I plaster up a smile for Drama farewell BBQ later (actually I'm late already XD).

& then cry some more later.

Gosh, maybe I should just drop out of school now.

[edit]
There, I'm officially out of EDS, for good.
BBQ was awesome, & I got a chance to display my "paparazzi" skills! :D
The feeling when I handed over the key to the J1s was a sort of liberation.
& now it's just me and studies, a 5 month dating session (ewwwww).
But when I think about GP today, I really wonder how do I move on at all....

No more RCY.
Some more tuition.
Late nights.
Coffee.
Macdonalds/Library.
Papers, books and whatever nonsense related to mugging.

HOW HOW HOW? HOW MUCH AMOUNT OF PUSHING DO I HAVE TO DO TO DO WELL?

It has been rather peaceful I guess?
Study period during CT period plus no drama were bonuses for the day.

Although there's this certain girl who is irritating me off like totally.
Come on. Be more responsible for what you miss. Like make an effort to ask me what have you missed for the lessons. How do you expect me to remember EVERYTHING? Who do you think I am, your personal diary?

A school event is only beneficial if the whole student body can bond together as one united family. If one is forced to go for a particular event, do you think the person can enjoy the event, no matter how fun it is?

This Saturday; it's a celebration of the school's past achievements, both students and teachers alike. No doubt, I'm happy & proud of the school's successes. But do I have to be there in person to show my pride for the school? I don't think so. Seating through 2 hours of clapping for people whom I don't even recognise by face, people receiving awards on behalf of their CCA, people getting academic awards & external individual achievements...is so not worthy of my time at all.

For those receiving academic awards or individual awards for winning competitions, I sincerely congratulate you. But why do I care what achievements the respective CCAs has made? If teachers are being promoted on that day as well, all the more the reason I shouldn't be going; it does not concern me in the SLIGHTEST bit if they are promoted.

not like there will be improvements from them anyway.

So basically, the majority of this event is a total waste of my time. It's not that I like kicking up a big fuss over the issue of being forced to go, but seriously, what's new? I don't benefit from knowing which CCAs had improved, which teacher has been promoted, and clapping STUPIDLY for unfamiliar faces.

What kind of "Freedom Of Choice" is this?

2 more tiring weeks of school.
1 or 2 more sessions till I'm over and done with EDS forever.

The end of term 2; the end of everything EXCEPT studies.

"I wasn't sure what I was doing, to tell someone in his clique, about all his bad traits. I know that the someone won't tell him about what I said, but am I putting myself in a bad light instead?"

"To forgive and forget is no simple process."

"To see his back view, pains me."

"Today, so many revelations, so many truths unraveled. I feel so lost, because so many thoughts are running through my head."

"How do I feel at peace with myself, when I can't remove that permanent dislike for him? I'm only at the losing end."

"我真的很想哭。。。可是，又没有泪水， 怎么哭出全部的痛苦，烦恼，伤心呢？我好累。。。"

Out of 6, 4 is about him.
Please, just kill me. I shouldn't be thinking about this whenever I'm mugging.

Some guys just suck to the core.

Well, maybe the ones in my class.

Thank goodness I know boys which are so much better, even the ex-SJI one.

I have never been better.
So much has happened.

But there's no need to rake up the past, not when April has been the worse month so far. Not going to elaborate any furthur; it's a month which I prefer not to reminisce at all.

So well, may I say that SYF finished 2 days ago, & I'm finally free to start mugging! OH MY I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS DAY TO FOCUS FULLY ON MY STUDIES, AND HANG OUT WITH HENGLI, SANGEETA & BERTRAM AFTER SCHOOL.

I have a simple aim for MYE, & that is to be on par or beat that ex-SJI boy. I need to do myself some justice, give myself confidence for prelims, & not end up in the wrong banding groups in Term 3.

GOGOGO :)